1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,940
Not gone to their house in Mesquite

2
00:00:01,940 --> 00:00:03,880
because they stopped in Reno.

3
00:00:04,740 --> 00:00:05,650
And then she flew down to see

4
00:00:05,650 --> 00:00:07,180
her parents or her kid or

5
00:00:07,180 --> 00:00:08,200
something.

6
00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:09,560
And he flew over here.

7
00:00:09,560 --> 00:00:12,820
I mean, him getting on a plane

8
00:00:12,820 --> 00:00:15,920
and flying somewhere is like

9
00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:18,400
you going to Publix.

10
00:00:19,440 --> 00:00:20,870
I mean, it's something he just

11
00:00:20,870 --> 00:00:22,460
does every week.

12
00:00:22,740 --> 00:00:24,380
You used the phrase evil genius.

13
00:00:24,380 --> 00:00:25,720
Do you think that he was?

14
00:00:25,800 --> 00:00:27,260
I'm sorry. I mean, that's the

15
00:00:27,260 --> 00:00:28,480
thing I shouldn't have said.

16
00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:30,270
But that's what people are. I

17
00:00:30,270 --> 00:00:32,200
mean, that he's this, you know,

18
00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:34,040
but he's a highly intelligent.

19
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:35,310
What I mean, there's absolutely

20
00:00:35,310 --> 00:00:35,560
no.

21
00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:37,010
And this is the other part that

22
00:00:37,010 --> 00:00:38,440
I want to stress with this,

23
00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:39,520
that it I mean, it doesn't

24
00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:40,290
matter that they won't chase

25
00:00:40,290 --> 00:00:40,640
people.

26
00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:41,800
But people are saying, oh, he

27
00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:42,680
must have had help.

28
00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:45,250
Steve had no help. Steve didn't

29
00:00:45,250 --> 00:00:46,320
take help.

30
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:47,870
It did not take a village for

31
00:00:47,870 --> 00:00:49,720
Steve. Steve was an arm.

32
00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:51,260
I'm sorry. He was an arms

33
00:00:51,260 --> 00:00:51,940
dealer.

34
00:00:52,460 --> 00:00:53,700
Please don't. He was a one

35
00:00:53,700 --> 00:00:54,840
armed bandit.

36
00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:55,970
I'm using a colloquial. I was

37
00:00:55,970 --> 00:00:57,280
about to use a colloquial term.

38
00:00:57,280 --> 00:00:58,940
That would besmudge one of the

39
00:00:58,940 --> 00:00:59,920
armed forces.

40
00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:00,400
Besmudgement.

41
00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:02,720
Steve was a...

42
00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:03,700
Besmudgement news.

43
00:01:04,460 --> 00:01:06,160
Stand alone guy.

44
00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:09,280
He was a fucking one...

45
00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:10,880
He was a one man army.

46
00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:11,440
Steve.

47
00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:18,560
If you wanted to hang out with

48
00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:23,120
Steve, you hung out with Steve,

49
00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:26,190
but you had to understand Steve

50
00:01:26,190 --> 00:01:28,440
was a little quirky.

51
00:01:30,540 --> 00:01:32,900
I want to hear, I mean, here's

52
00:01:32,900 --> 00:01:34,880
the story.

53
00:01:35,700 --> 00:01:38,060
You know, here's how Steve is.

54
00:01:39,180 --> 00:01:41,720
I would go, you know, when I

55
00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:44,370
was flying or whatever, if he

56
00:01:44,370 --> 00:01:46,810
was in town and I happened to

57
00:01:46,810 --> 00:01:49,250
be flying over, I'd stop in

58
00:01:49,250 --> 00:01:52,110
where, you know, we'd go to the

59
00:01:52,110 --> 00:01:54,770
hotel and stay in the hotel for

60
00:01:54,770 --> 00:01:57,430
a couple days or something and

61
00:01:57,430 --> 00:01:59,450
sit under the cabana or

62
00:01:59,450 --> 00:02:01,020
something.

63
00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:03,400
Bottom line. That's how it

64
00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:04,100
works.

65
00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:24,280
I'm not saying, but he could

66
00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:35,360
have very easy.

67
00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:37,850
The reason they found this

68
00:02:37,850 --> 00:02:40,660
stuff in the, in the mesquite

69
00:02:40,660 --> 00:02:43,140
house, he could have very

70
00:02:43,140 --> 00:02:45,060
easily not gone.

71
00:02:45,260 --> 00:02:49,730
He had multiple houses and any,

72
00:02:49,730 --> 00:02:54,480
I mean, a bunch of the hotels.

73
00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:55,200
Oh yeah.

74
00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:58,700
Not any hotel, but many of the

75
00:02:58,700 --> 00:03:00,000
hotels.

76
00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:03,610
He walks in any hotel, but many

77
00:03:03,610 --> 00:03:04,900
hotels.

78
00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:07,020
Not any hotel, but many hotels.

79
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,960
Not any hotel, but many hotels.

80
00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:10,660
Not any hotel, but many hotels.

81
00:03:10,660 --> 00:03:11,660
Not any hotel, but many hotels.

82
00:03:11,660 --> 00:03:15,660
Not any hotel, but many hotels.

83
00:03:15,660 --> 00:03:17,660
Not any hotel, but many hotels.

84
00:03:17,660 --> 00:03:19,660
Not any hotel, but many hotels.

85
00:03:19,660 --> 00:03:21,660
Not any hotel, but many hotels.

86
00:03:21,660 --> 00:03:22,660
Not any hotel, but many hotels.

87
00:03:22,660 --> 00:03:23,660
Not any hotel, but many hotels.

88
00:03:23,660 --> 00:03:24,660
Not any hotel, but many hotels.

89
00:03:24,660 --> 00:03:25,660
Not any hotel, but many hotels.

90
00:03:25,660 --> 00:03:26,660
Not any hotel, but many hotels.

91
00:03:26,660 --> 00:03:27,660
Not any hotel, but many hotels.

92
00:03:27,660 --> 00:03:28,660
Not any hotel, but many hotels.

93
00:03:28,660 --> 00:03:29,660
Not any hotel, but many hotels.

94
00:03:29,660 --> 00:03:32,360
Not any hotel hotels.

95
00:03:32,360 --> 00:03:33,360
Not any hotel hotels.

96
00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:37,360
Not a bunch of hotels.

97
00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:41,360
Not a bunch of hotels.

98
00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:46,830
No reason to tell me that he

99
00:03:46,830 --> 00:03:50,360
was a nice guy.

100
00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:54,360
People who used to pay him rent.

101
00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:58,670
I mean, the story about the

102
00:03:58,670 --> 00:04:03,060
apartments that we have.

103
00:04:03,060 --> 00:04:06,810
The guy says, "Oh, and by the

104
00:04:06,810 --> 00:04:10,400
way, you know the place's up

105
00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:13,060
when we bought it.

106
00:04:13,060 --> 00:04:15,690
We fixed it up and made a nice

107
00:04:15,690 --> 00:04:19,060
place for these people to live."

108
00:04:19,060 --> 00:04:23,120
And Steve gave them, I mean,

109
00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:27,370
gave them cheap rent because we

110
00:04:27,370 --> 00:04:30,760
wanted happy people.

111
00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:34,760
Nice people in our apartments.

112
00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:37,220
He said, "Yeah, he had a quirky

113
00:04:37,220 --> 00:04:38,760
sense of humor."

114
00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:41,580
What the hell's a quirky sense

115
00:04:41,580 --> 00:04:42,760
of humor?

116
00:04:42,760 --> 00:04:45,570
People watch movies where they

117
00:04:45,570 --> 00:04:47,760
butcher little kids.

118
00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:53,760
What the hell are you doing?

119
00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:57,410
This is why everybody, and here's

120
00:04:57,410 --> 00:04:58,760
my diatribe today.

121
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:03,340
This is what everybody's so

122
00:05:03,340 --> 00:05:07,760
scared about right now.

123
00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:15,000
When Steve can do this, we are

124
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:17,760
in deep shit.

125
00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:23,800
Because there's just nothing

126
00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:25,760
there.

127
00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:32,410
You find me where someone who's

128
00:05:32,410 --> 00:05:38,760
like Steve does this.

129
00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:43,920
I hope the hell they find when

130
00:05:43,920 --> 00:05:49,950
they do the autopsy that there's

131
00:05:49,950 --> 00:05:51,760
a tumor.

132
00:05:52,760 --> 00:05:53,300
I hope the hell is going to be

133
00:05:53,300 --> 00:05:53,760
a little bit more.

134
00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:54,300
I hope the hell is going to be

135
00:05:54,300 --> 00:05:54,760
a little bit more.

136
00:05:54,760 --> 00:05:55,300
I hope the hell is going to be

137
00:05:55,300 --> 00:05:55,760
a little bit more.

138
00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:56,300
I hope the hell is going to be

139
00:05:56,300 --> 00:05:56,760
a little bit more.

140
00:05:56,760 --> 00:05:57,310
I hope the hell is going to be

141
00:05:57,310 --> 00:05:57,760
a little bit more.

142
00:05:57,760 --> 00:05:58,300
I hope the hell is going to be

143
00:05:58,300 --> 00:05:58,760
a little bit more.

144
00:05:58,760 --> 00:05:59,300
I hope the hell is going to be

145
00:05:59,300 --> 00:05:59,760
a little bit more.

146
00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:00,300
I hope the hell is going to be

147
00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:00,760
a little bit more.

148
00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:01,300
I hope the hell is going to be

149
00:06:01,300 --> 00:06:01,760
a little bit more.

150
00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:02,300
I hope the hell is going to be

151
00:06:02,300 --> 00:06:02,760
a little bit more.

152
00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:03,300
I hope the hell is going to be

153
00:06:03,300 --> 00:06:03,760
a little bit more.

154
00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:04,300
I hope the hell is going to be

155
00:06:04,300 --> 00:06:04,760
a little bit more.

156
00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:05,300
I hope the hell is going to be

157
00:06:05,300 --> 00:06:05,760
a little bit more.

158
00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:15,500
I hope the hell is going to be

159
00:06:15,500 --> 00:06:22,760
a little bit more.

160
00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:25,600
I hope the hell is going to be

161
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:27,760
a little bit more.

162
00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:46,760
Yes.

163
00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:55,060
Mr Greenwood, tonight's the

164
00:06:55,060 --> 00:07:00,880
counterfeiters who are out to

165
00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:02,020
con you on the run-up to

166
00:07:02,020 --> 00:07:02,760
Christmas.

167
00:07:02,760 --> 00:07:05,520
Hit me sharply lively before

168
00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:07,760
the policeman stops.

169
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:09,170
What do you want to take? Where

170
00:07:09,170 --> 00:07:10,760
do you think you are?

171
00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:13,680
Already, I hate this. I don't...

172
00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:15,080
I'm getting bad vibes off of

173
00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:15,760
this one.

174
00:07:15,760 --> 00:07:17,810
Hopefully it doesn't have any

175
00:07:17,810 --> 00:07:19,780
heavy violence that has to be

176
00:07:19,780 --> 00:07:20,760
censored.

177
00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:25,320
Like, Georgie Pie, my sweet

178
00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:27,760
Georgie Pie.

179
00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:29,950
Thank you very much there, Anonymous,

180
00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:30,760
for the tip.

181
00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:35,810
And the Paddock family and Omar

182
00:07:35,810 --> 00:07:40,760
and Conrad and Bobby Tesco.

183
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:42,760
Thank you very much there.

184
00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:45,070
You should watch Fernando Mendoza's

185
00:07:45,070 --> 00:07:46,940
post-game interview from the

186
00:07:46,940 --> 00:07:47,760
weekend.

187
00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:50,290
I can't just jet. It's a fast

188
00:07:50,290 --> 00:07:54,760
blast cook report situation.

189
00:07:54,760 --> 00:07:57,310
And you know that there's going

190
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,760
to be some good stuff in it.

191
00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:01,840
As I said, hopefully it's not

192
00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:03,840
going to be a censor situation

193
00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:05,800
where I have to cover up a load

194
00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:06,760
of stuff.

195
00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:08,760
But it's about counterfeiters.

196
00:08:08,760 --> 00:08:11,250
It has an AI thumbnail of Del

197
00:08:11,250 --> 00:08:13,760
Boy from Only Fools and Horses.

198
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,760
It could be good.

199
00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:17,030
Christian Irwin, thank you very,

200
00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:17,760
very much there.

201
00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:18,760
Mendoza.

202
00:08:18,760 --> 00:08:19,760
Mendoza.

203
00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,880
We hired our own Del Boy and

204
00:08:21,880 --> 00:08:22,760
Rodney.

205
00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:23,760
Mendoza.

206
00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:24,850
Loaded up a van with counterfeit

207
00:08:24,850 --> 00:08:25,760
goods and hit the road.

208
00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:26,760
Lovely.

209
00:08:26,760 --> 00:08:28,760
I don't like...

210
00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:29,760
Please be careful.

211
00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:31,760
Please be careful, Tim Reedy.

212
00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:32,760
Thank you very much.

213
00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:34,520
I don't like the way that they've

214
00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:35,760
changed the music.

215
00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:36,760
What year is this from?

216
00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:37,760
1997.

217
00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:39,580
So we've taken a big leap

218
00:08:39,580 --> 00:08:42,540
because I think it was 1992 or

219
00:08:42,540 --> 00:08:45,760
1 with the triads in Manchester.

220
00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:48,760
But this could be good.

221
00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:50,460
But I mean, why did they change

222
00:08:50,460 --> 00:08:52,030
that theme tune with the door

223
00:08:52,030 --> 00:08:53,760
knock on the fucking intro?

224
00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:54,760
It was fantastic.

225
00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:57,850
Counterfeit goods and hit the

226
00:08:57,850 --> 00:08:58,760
road.

227
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:04,760
I like that bit.

228
00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:05,760
Woohoo!

229
00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:08,100
F*** off from that f***ing side

230
00:09:08,100 --> 00:09:08,760
door.

231
00:09:09,760 --> 00:09:10,760
F*** off.

232
00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:12,760
Good stuff.

233
00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:18,830
I actually am warming to that

234
00:09:18,830 --> 00:09:19,640
title sequence

235
00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:21,010
and I like the way they still

236
00:09:21,010 --> 00:09:21,280
have

237
00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:22,960
a title sequence

238
00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:24,720
with a bit of bother in it

239
00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:26,310
and then they go back to a

240
00:09:26,310 --> 00:09:27,400
final bit

241
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,920
a crescendo of the title

242
00:09:28,920 --> 00:09:29,580
sequence

243
00:09:29,580 --> 00:09:38,880
Are you fuck off?

244
00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:39,460
And then

245
00:09:39,460 --> 00:09:45,450
I mean I don't need to repeat

246
00:09:45,450 --> 00:09:46,020
it

247
00:09:46,020 --> 00:09:47,740
but it was good

248
00:09:47,740 --> 00:09:48,760
And hit the road

249
00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:58,870
F*** off from that f***ing

250
00:09:58,870 --> 00:09:59,460
sound door

251
00:09:59,460 --> 00:10:01,060
F*** off

252
00:10:01,060 --> 00:10:08,320
F*** off from that f***ing

253
00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:11,360
sound door

254
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:12,060
What's up?

255
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:14,280
On board this ferry

256
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:19,040
The P&O ferry

257
00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:20,280
where is that coming from?

258
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:20,960
Are going to

259
00:10:20,960 --> 00:10:21,960
Is it Hollyhead?

260
00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:23,500
Is it going to Wales?

261
00:10:23,660 --> 00:10:24,260
Is it going to

262
00:10:24,260 --> 00:10:26,320
Is it in Ireland?

263
00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:27,130
Are they starting off in

264
00:10:27,130 --> 00:10:27,580
Ireland?

265
00:10:27,700 --> 00:10:29,060
Are they going to be in France?

266
00:10:29,060 --> 00:10:30,300
Is it coming from Spain?

267
00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:31,940
Thank you very much there

268
00:10:31,940 --> 00:10:32,680
Brent Eagle

269
00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:34,020
and got to go

270
00:10:34,020 --> 00:10:35,420
Got to pick up a pizza

271
00:10:35,420 --> 00:10:36,390
You greatly enhanced your

272
00:10:36,390 --> 00:10:36,860
reputation

273
00:10:36,860 --> 00:10:39,600
How about you?

274
00:10:40,300 --> 00:10:40,940
Paul Meskel

275
00:10:40,940 --> 00:10:42,020
Thank you very much

276
00:10:42,020 --> 00:10:43,420
He seems to know it's waiting

277
00:10:43,420 --> 00:10:47,380
On board this ferry

278
00:10:47,380 --> 00:10:48,820
about to dock in Scotland

279
00:10:48,820 --> 00:10:50,520
is a boatload of trouble

280
00:10:50,520 --> 00:10:53,620
Six men from Northern Ireland

281
00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:54,680
are coming to the mainland

282
00:10:54,680 --> 00:10:56,520
to buy tens of thousands of

283
00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:57,340
pounds worth

284
00:10:57,340 --> 00:10:58,700
of fake goods

285
00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:00,280
They're heading to the mainland.

286
00:11:02,660 --> 00:11:04,640
It's probably Larn to Troon in

287
00:11:04,640 --> 00:11:08,180
Scotland or Stranra.

288
00:11:08,340 --> 00:11:09,970
To catch them as they arrive in

289
00:11:09,970 --> 00:11:11,740
Tootons to take delivery.

290
00:11:12,060 --> 00:11:14,100
In Tootons. In Tootons.

291
00:11:14,660 --> 00:11:15,810
The Cook Report is here to

292
00:11:15,810 --> 00:11:18,340
catch them as they arrive in Tootons

293
00:11:18,340 --> 00:11:20,310
to take delivery at an isolated

294
00:11:20,310 --> 00:11:21,040
lay-by.

295
00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:23,240
It was a bit of a jump there on

296
00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:25,960
the VHS Tootons. In two vans,

297
00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:26,660
is it?

298
00:11:27,540 --> 00:11:29,120
Of fake goods.

299
00:11:31,060 --> 00:11:31,130
The Cook Report is here to

300
00:11:31,130 --> 00:11:34,000
catch them as they arrive in Tootons

301
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,490
to take delivery at an isolated

302
00:11:36,490 --> 00:11:37,500
lay-by.

303
00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:39,080
Maybe that's what they used to

304
00:11:39,080 --> 00:11:40,460
call arriving in two vans back

305
00:11:40,460 --> 00:11:41,160
in the day.

306
00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:42,570
We're gonna arrive in Tootons

307
00:11:42,570 --> 00:11:44,080
and fucking jump them when they

308
00:11:44,080 --> 00:11:45,400
get off the boat, man.

309
00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:47,940
We've got a couple of Tootons.

310
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:50,860
That's the two Tootons there.

311
00:11:53,360 --> 00:11:55,460
Or just, that's the Tootin.

312
00:11:56,380 --> 00:11:57,730
There's no two Tootons. There's

313
00:11:57,730 --> 00:11:58,860
only one Tootin there.

314
00:11:59,380 --> 00:12:00,890
One Tootin is two white vans

315
00:12:00,890 --> 00:12:01,920
full of lads.

316
00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:04,240
The Desmond Tootons.

317
00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:05,990
The Cook Report is here to

318
00:12:05,990 --> 00:12:08,440
catch them as they arrive in Tootons

319
00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:10,590
to take delivery at an isolated

320
00:12:10,590 --> 00:12:11,500
lay-by.

321
00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:15,340
Which one's with?

322
00:12:15,460 --> 00:12:16,520
Who's the dodgy crew?

323
00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:16,900
Is this...

324
00:12:17,740 --> 00:12:18,750
Are these the Tootons on the

325
00:12:18,750 --> 00:12:21,280
right entering from stage right?

326
00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:24,140
Or is Kooky and the boys on the

327
00:12:24,140 --> 00:12:25,220
left here?

328
00:12:28,300 --> 00:12:30,180
I think the music is meant to

329
00:12:30,180 --> 00:12:32,150
underscore that this is gonna

330
00:12:32,150 --> 00:12:34,180
be a nice, pleasant exchange

331
00:12:34,180 --> 00:12:36,580
between some friendly people.

332
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:37,580
Take delivery.

333
00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:38,660
BOOM!

334
00:12:40,140 --> 00:12:41,880
Tonight on rock bottom.

335
00:12:42,060 --> 00:12:43,720
At an isolated lay-by.

336
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:46,960
Are you alright, Davey, anyway?

337
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:48,810
This is the culmination of a

338
00:12:48,810 --> 00:12:50,200
four-month investment.

339
00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:51,340
We've got a lovely jumper

340
00:12:51,340 --> 00:12:51,820
already.

341
00:12:51,980 --> 00:12:53,520
The jacket is fantastic.

342
00:12:54,460 --> 00:12:55,260
I like that jacket.

343
00:12:55,440 --> 00:12:56,220
Get them while you can.

344
00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:57,040
Yeah.

345
00:12:57,420 --> 00:12:57,660
Yeah.

346
00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:00,340
Today is the last day for Roger

347
00:13:00,340 --> 00:13:02,140
Cook's hot dogs.

348
00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:03,920
Get them while you can.

349
00:13:04,400 --> 00:13:05,660
Thank you very much, Joey the Lips.

350
00:13:07,660 --> 00:13:08,560
And look at that.

351
00:13:09,740 --> 00:13:10,630
I like the wind sweep on the

352
00:13:10,630 --> 00:13:13,160
bottom of that jacket there.

353
00:13:13,780 --> 00:13:15,020
He cuts a tall figure.

354
00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:16,200
He's a bit of a beam pole.

355
00:13:17,300 --> 00:13:18,190
And he's got a massive

356
00:13:18,190 --> 00:13:20,220
sovereign ring on.

357
00:13:20,260 --> 00:13:23,200
That's a strong clasping shake.

358
00:13:23,520 --> 00:13:24,800
And a lovely pattern on the

359
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:25,480
jumper.

360
00:13:26,240 --> 00:13:27,360
It's a nice pattern.

361
00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:28,920
But is he a nice man?

362
00:13:29,220 --> 00:13:29,760
We'll see.

363
00:13:30,420 --> 00:13:31,580
Only time will tell.

364
00:13:31,580 --> 00:13:33,020
This is the culmination of a

365
00:13:33,020 --> 00:13:34,840
four-month investigation into

366
00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:36,870
one of Britain's fastest-growing

367
00:13:36,870 --> 00:13:38,560
crimes, counterfeiting.

368
00:13:39,680 --> 00:13:40,580
Tonight, the Cook Report sets

369
00:13:40,580 --> 00:13:43,020
up its own counterfeit business.

370
00:13:43,180 --> 00:13:44,580
Beautiful sweep of the court.

371
00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:46,180
And it's a cold day.

372
00:13:46,700 --> 00:13:48,520
It's a cold bit of business, as

373
00:13:48,520 --> 00:13:50,990
exemplified by the vigorous

374
00:13:50,990 --> 00:13:53,430
hand-rubbing from Mr. Sovereign

375
00:13:53,430 --> 00:13:54,280
there.

376
00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:55,750
And lifts the shutters on

377
00:13:55,750 --> 00:13:56,940
manufacturing.

378
00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:01,620
Villain synths.

379
00:14:01,620 --> 00:14:03,380
...traders who are out to dupe

380
00:14:03,380 --> 00:14:04,140
the public.

381
00:14:05,020 --> 00:14:06,190
People like convicted criminal

382
00:14:06,190 --> 00:14:08,170
David Campbell, who wanted up

383
00:14:08,170 --> 00:14:10,480
to a million pounds worth of so-called

384
00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:12,180
bookie gear every year.

385
00:14:14,940 --> 00:14:14,890
Mohammed Balal and his partner

386
00:14:14,890 --> 00:14:17,600
Salim Patel from Preston, who

387
00:14:17,600 --> 00:14:20,230
deal in drugs, guns, stolen

388
00:14:20,230 --> 00:14:23,540
cars, and counterfeit clothing.

389
00:14:26,220 --> 00:14:27,180
Good fellas.

390
00:14:27,180 --> 00:14:29,110
Ibrahim Badgit, a successful

391
00:14:29,110 --> 00:14:31,130
jeans manufacturer, also from

392
00:14:31,130 --> 00:14:31,940
Preston.

393
00:14:31,940 --> 00:14:32,500
Ibrahim!

394
00:14:32,500 --> 00:14:34,320
He and his son Imran will make

395
00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:36,220
us thousands of fake designer

396
00:14:36,220 --> 00:14:38,280
jeans, no questions asked.

397
00:14:39,700 --> 00:14:40,470
And from this husband and wife

398
00:14:40,470 --> 00:14:42,850
team, we're ordering designer

399
00:14:42,850 --> 00:14:44,120
sportswear.

400
00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:46,230
All fake and strictly against

401
00:14:46,230 --> 00:14:47,020
the law.

402
00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:48,160
Strictly business.

403
00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:52,270
Counterfeiting is an enormous

404
00:14:52,270 --> 00:14:52,840
problem.

405
00:14:53,180 --> 00:14:54,720
Look, we've all been there.

406
00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:55,140
It's estimated that it's up to

407
00:14:55,140 --> 00:14:55,640
10% of world trade.

408
00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:57,320
I'd say we've all been there.

409
00:14:57,700 --> 00:14:59,140
We can't play the fucking moral

410
00:14:59,140 --> 00:15:00,100
high ground.

411
00:15:01,140 --> 00:15:03,140
I've worn stuff that wasn't

412
00:15:03,140 --> 00:15:04,700
real before.

413
00:15:04,940 --> 00:15:06,200
We've all been there.

414
00:15:06,900 --> 00:15:08,460
So I can't really say, yeah,

415
00:15:08,460 --> 00:15:10,420
Roger, go after them.

416
00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:12,940
But look, let's see.

417
00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:15,190
Maybe this will make me change

418
00:15:15,190 --> 00:15:16,020
my ways.

419
00:15:16,380 --> 00:15:17,300
And let's just say I have

420
00:15:17,300 --> 00:15:18,400
changed my ways.

421
00:15:18,460 --> 00:15:19,420
That was all in the past.

422
00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:20,480
I don't do that anymore.

423
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,570
And there's going evidence that

424
00:15:22,570 --> 00:15:24,720
it's linked to organized crime,

425
00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:26,840
drug dealing, gun running, and

426
00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:27,600
money laundering.

427
00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:31,410
This colossal warehouse is

428
00:15:31,410 --> 00:15:33,420
literally lined with fakes.

429
00:15:33,860 --> 00:15:35,030
The spoils of the biggest ever

430
00:15:35,030 --> 00:15:36,580
customs and excise raid.

431
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:39,150
Pair of fucking Calvin clones

432
00:15:39,150 --> 00:15:40,740
or Tommy Sport.

433
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,220
Tommy Sport.

434
00:15:46,220 --> 00:15:47,380
On the counterfeiters.

435
00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:48,880
The counterfeiters for their

436
00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:50,260
part, having invested the

437
00:15:50,260 --> 00:15:51,900
proceeds of organized crime,

438
00:15:52,260 --> 00:15:54,090
stood to make a cool 20 million

439
00:15:54,090 --> 00:15:54,820
pounds.

440
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:56,330
And the range of fake goods on

441
00:15:56,330 --> 00:15:58,160
offer is quite extraordinary.

442
00:15:58,520 --> 00:15:59,140
Wow, look.

443
00:15:59,140 --> 00:16:02,390
Nick Faldo signature Pringle

444
00:16:02,390 --> 00:16:04,880
sports collection.

445
00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:06,890
Clothing like Pringle sweaters

446
00:16:06,890 --> 00:16:08,680
here with authentic looking

447
00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:10,320
Nick Faldo packaging.

448
00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:12,140
Timbaland, if you like it.

449
00:16:12,340 --> 00:16:13,310
Almost any of the big brand

450
00:16:13,310 --> 00:16:13,780
names.

451
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:14,340
If you like it.

452
00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:15,460
We've got lookaging.

453
00:16:16,180 --> 00:16:17,280
Timbaland, if you like it.

454
00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,780
Almost any of the big brand

455
00:16:19,780 --> 00:16:20,680
names.

456
00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:22,240
Nick Faldo packaging.

457
00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:24,080
Timbaland, if you like it.

458
00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:25,240
Almost any of the big brand

459
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:25,700
names.

460
00:16:26,180 --> 00:16:27,780
We've got Louis Vuitton leather

461
00:16:27,780 --> 00:16:28,800
goods here.

462
00:16:28,980 --> 00:16:29,720
Louis Vuitton.

463
00:16:31,220 --> 00:16:32,160
Almost any of the big brand

464
00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:33,100
names.

465
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:34,940
He's good, isn't he?

466
00:16:34,940 --> 00:16:36,380
He's like a dealer.

467
00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:38,230
Louis Vuitton leather goods

468
00:16:38,230 --> 00:16:38,800
here.

469
00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:39,560
Purses.

470
00:16:39,900 --> 00:16:40,680
Backgammon sets.

471
00:16:41,380 --> 00:16:42,020
Backgammon.

472
00:16:42,220 --> 00:16:42,480
Chanel.

473
00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:44,080
Who the fuck is buying backgammon

474
00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:45,300
sets down the market?

475
00:16:46,060 --> 00:16:47,620
Is it a Christmas stuff?

476
00:16:47,720 --> 00:16:49,140
Georgie pie.

477
00:16:49,140 --> 00:16:49,140
Georgie pie.

478
00:16:49,140 --> 00:16:50,300
Georgieniel.

479
00:16:50,300 --> 00:16:50,980
Here.

480
00:16:51,380 --> 00:16:51,780
Purses.

481
00:16:52,100 --> 00:16:52,900
Backgammon sets.

482
00:16:53,520 --> 00:16:54,020
Perfume.

483
00:16:54,460 --> 00:16:54,700
Chanel.

484
00:16:55,420 --> 00:16:55,920
Georgio.

485
00:16:56,460 --> 00:16:56,580
Watch.

486
00:16:56,580 --> 00:16:57,580
Georgio.

487
00:16:57,740 --> 00:16:59,080
Tag Heuer.

488
00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:00,800
Ladies and gentlemen.

489
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:02,760
Even Pringle watches there.

490
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,440
But perhaps cheekiest of all.

491
00:17:04,500 --> 00:17:04,920
Cheeky.

492
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:05,880
Fendi pen.

493
00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:07,560
The counterfeiters have even

494
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,370
chosen to reproduce the Harrods

495
00:17:09,370 --> 00:17:10,120
barcode.

496
00:17:10,200 --> 00:17:10,640
Ooh.

497
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:16,980
Stick a pony in my pocket.

498
00:17:17,940 --> 00:17:19,830
To infiltrate the counterfeiting

499
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:21,460
underworld, two Cook Report

500
00:17:21,460 --> 00:17:23,240
researchers doubled as Del Boy

501
00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:23,880
and Rodney.

502
00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:25,210
Like their television

503
00:17:25,210 --> 00:17:27,170
counterparts, they put the word

504
00:17:27,170 --> 00:17:28,920
out that we have hooky gear for

505
00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:29,440
sale.

506
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:31,540
Here it comes from It's a

507
00:17:31,540 --> 00:17:32,660
Mystery.

508
00:17:33,360 --> 00:17:34,940
Guillaume Benoit.

509
00:17:35,100 --> 00:17:36,280
Thank you very, very much.

510
00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:39,170
Changing the levels of seasons

511
00:17:39,170 --> 00:17:41,680
and the tides of the sea.

512
00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:43,020
With the help of trading

513
00:17:43,020 --> 00:17:44,700
standards, we load up our van

514
00:17:44,700 --> 00:17:46,920
with goods and advertise our wares.

515
00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:51,790
Within days, the orders are

516
00:17:51,790 --> 00:17:56,820
flooding in, and we hit the

517
00:17:56,820 --> 00:18:02,520
road to meet our customers.

518
00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:03,610
Preston is the jeans

519
00:18:03,610 --> 00:18:05,040
manufacturing capital of

520
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,780
Britain, but millions of hooky

521
00:18:06,780 --> 00:18:07,380
garments

522
00:18:07,380 --> 00:18:09,720
are also made here every year,

523
00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:11,680
many going for export.

524
00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:13,730
Among the Count of the Kings is

525
00:18:13,730 --> 00:18:15,950
Ibrahim Budget. He's about to

526
00:18:15,950 --> 00:18:17,880
do a deal with a big foreign

527
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:26,680
buyer, or so he thinks.

528
00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:28,480
Is that like a name, like a

529
00:18:28,480 --> 00:18:30,640
market name, a branding name

530
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:32,950
when he's down the market? Like

531
00:18:32,950 --> 00:18:34,680
if you're on a bit of a budget,

532
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,640
come to Ibrahim Budget and he

533
00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:38,610
will sell you those goods at a

534
00:18:38,610 --> 00:18:39,680
nice price.

535
00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:42,070
And Ibrahim tell our team they

536
00:18:42,070 --> 00:18:44,380
can supply Versace, Calvin

537
00:18:44,380 --> 00:18:46,680
Klein, Armani and Levi.

538
00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:48,780
Each sample in the same fit. On

539
00:18:48,780 --> 00:18:50,820
the 501 fit? On the 501 fit.

540
00:18:50,820 --> 00:18:52,730
Different kit, different power.

541
00:18:52,730 --> 00:18:54,680
On the 501 fit.

542
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:55,760
Market design, different

543
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:57,270
everything. Diesel. Okay. But

544
00:18:57,270 --> 00:18:58,680
the fit's same. Okay, fine.

545
00:18:58,680 --> 00:19:00,540
Bhajit warns us it's a risky

546
00:19:00,540 --> 00:19:01,520
business.

547
00:19:01,520 --> 00:19:03,800
We got trading standard people.

548
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:05,540
They come every two, three

549
00:19:05,540 --> 00:19:06,180
weeks.

550
00:19:06,180 --> 00:19:08,250
Nevertheless, the deal is done.

551
00:19:08,250 --> 00:19:09,940
Bhajit then reveals another

552
00:19:09,940 --> 00:19:11,860
string to his criminal bow.

553
00:19:11,860 --> 00:19:13,780
He wants paying, not in hard

554
00:19:13,780 --> 00:19:15,640
cash, but in hard drugs.

555
00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:18,500
Thank you very much there, Dropbox.

556
00:19:18,500 --> 00:19:19,730
And I'm Mr. Williams. Failed to

557
00:19:19,730 --> 00:19:20,440
show this morning.

558
00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:23,840
Let him know. I will do. Thank

559
00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:25,720
you very much. I'll click that

560
00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:27,270
link in a bit after this

561
00:19:27,270 --> 00:19:28,280
situation.

562
00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:30,200
Thank you very much. It's black

563
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:33,490
road. Possibly. Possibly. How

564
00:19:33,490 --> 00:19:37,370
much? If we do a deal, you want

565
00:19:37,370 --> 00:19:42,310
to get paid on... On the jeans,

566
00:19:42,310 --> 00:19:43,300
yes.

567
00:19:43,300 --> 00:19:46,380
A hotel car park on the Yorkshire

568
00:19:46,380 --> 00:19:49,230
moors. And one of a series of

569
00:19:49,230 --> 00:19:53,780
meetings with Mahat. I like

570
00:19:53,780 --> 00:19:57,880
this secret filming.

571
00:19:57,880 --> 00:19:59,840
Adi Haas. He shows us a sample

572
00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:01,950
of the fake Adidas sweatshirts,

573
00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:04,120
which cram the back of his van.

574
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,370
Adi Haas. We've been

575
00:20:05,370 --> 00:20:07,000
negotiating with him and his

576
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:08,950
business partner, Salim Patel,

577
00:20:08,950 --> 00:20:09,900
for weeks.

578
00:20:12,900 --> 00:20:14,900
That's good. That's good. Now.

579
00:20:14,900 --> 00:20:17,460
They'll make 5,000 pairs of

580
00:20:17,460 --> 00:20:19,770
fake jeans every week, and they

581
00:20:19,770 --> 00:20:20,900
bring a sample.

582
00:20:20,900 --> 00:20:22,900
Adi Blast.

583
00:20:22,900 --> 00:20:24,440
In three days. This is the

584
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:26,180
fastest one that we could do.

585
00:20:26,180 --> 00:20:27,520
But obviously, to your

586
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:29,140
specification...

587
00:20:29,140 --> 00:20:30,660
Like Imran Badgit, they want

588
00:20:30,660 --> 00:20:31,140
drugs.

589
00:20:31,140 --> 00:20:33,440
But they also want stolen cars,

590
00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:35,630
and even guns, and they'd like

591
00:20:35,630 --> 00:20:37,140
us to supply them.

592
00:20:37,140 --> 00:20:39,140
They want pain in drugs.

593
00:20:39,140 --> 00:20:53,860
With bullets?

594
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:58,350
And then such a dark scenes

595
00:20:58,350 --> 00:20:59,200
there

596
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:00,980
and then it cuts to the nice

597
00:21:00,980 --> 00:21:01,420
upbeat

598
00:21:01,420 --> 00:21:05,140
La la la la la la la la la

599
00:21:05,140 --> 00:21:07,940
Well does the bullets come with

600
00:21:07,940 --> 00:21:09,180
the gun at all?

601
00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:11,790
Can you have bullets in the gun

602
00:21:11,790 --> 00:21:13,440
as well please?

603
00:21:14,100 --> 00:21:15,580
Captus thank you very much

604
00:21:15,580 --> 00:21:18,000
Are bullets included or?

605
00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:20,600
Bullets sold separately I see

606
00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:20,960
okay

607
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:23,340
Well look it's a great deal

608
00:21:23,340 --> 00:21:26,220
Sweaters for bullets for guns

609
00:21:26,220 --> 00:21:30,940
Delivered inside the UK

610
00:21:30,940 --> 00:21:31,540
Go to money?

611
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:32,480
Yeah

612
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:33,380
Go to money

613
00:21:33,380 --> 00:21:34,560
Any comments?

614
00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:39,320
Meanwhile as our Delboy and Rodney

615
00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:41,880
clock up the miles

616
00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:43,480
they're also clocking up the

617
00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:43,940
business

618
00:21:43,940 --> 00:21:47,520
This is gym owner Andy Ardle

619
00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:49,060
He's a man who knows what he

620
00:21:49,060 --> 00:21:49,420
wants

621
00:21:49,420 --> 00:21:51,080
10 Versace jeans

622
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:54,500
20 perfume mixed

623
00:21:54,500 --> 00:21:56,620
10 sweatshirts mixed

624
00:21:56,620 --> 00:21:57,900
Okay then Andy

625
00:21:57,900 --> 00:21:58,280
Bye

626
00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:02,320
10 Versace jeans

627
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:04,220
20 perfume mixed

628
00:22:04,220 --> 00:22:06,200
10 sweatshirts mixed

629
00:22:06,200 --> 00:22:11,180
La la la la la la la la la la

630
00:22:11,180 --> 00:22:12,380
la la la la la la la la la la

631
00:22:12,380 --> 00:22:13,580
la la la la la la la la la la

632
00:22:13,580 --> 00:22:14,780
la la la la la la la la la la

633
00:22:14,780 --> 00:22:15,990
la la la la la la la la la la

634
00:22:15,990 --> 00:22:17,210
la la la la la la la la la la

635
00:22:17,210 --> 00:22:18,380
la la la la la la la la la la

636
00:22:18,380 --> 00:22:19,580
la la la la la la la la la la

637
00:22:19,580 --> 00:22:20,780
la la la la la la la la la la

638
00:22:20,780 --> 00:22:21,980
la la la la la la la la la la

639
00:22:21,980 --> 00:22:23,240
la la la la la la la la la la

640
00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:24,380
la la la la la la la la la la

641
00:22:24,380 --> 00:22:25,580
la la la la la la la la la la

642
00:22:25,580 --> 00:22:26,840
la la la la la la la la la la

643
00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:27,980
la la la la la la la la la la

644
00:22:27,980 --> 00:22:29,170
la la la la la la la la la la

645
00:22:29,170 --> 00:22:30,380
la la la la la la la la la la

646
00:22:30,380 --> 00:22:31,580
la la la la la la la la la la

647
00:22:31,580 --> 00:22:32,780
la la la la la la la la la la

648
00:22:32,780 --> 00:22:33,980
la la la la la la la la la la

649
00:22:33,980 --> 00:22:35,180
la la la la la la la la la la

650
00:22:35,180 --> 00:22:36,200
la la la la la la la la la

651
00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:36,920
Please or whatever.

652
00:22:39,380 --> 00:22:39,860
I'll tell you what I'm looking

653
00:22:39,860 --> 00:22:40,600
for.

654
00:22:40,900 --> 00:22:41,900
We'll smother you.

655
00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:43,720
Do you know the ones with the...

656
00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:45,320
Thank you very much there, Kiki.

657
00:22:45,660 --> 00:22:46,280
Steve Hammer.

658
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:48,230
Absolutely loving the Pollard

659
00:22:48,230 --> 00:22:49,020
streams.

660
00:22:49,540 --> 00:22:50,360
Pollard streams.

661
00:22:50,460 --> 00:22:51,120
I don't know what they are.

662
00:22:51,580 --> 00:22:52,480
Were you hoodwinked by someone

663
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:53,800
selling dodgy stuff in Dublin

664
00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:54,360
before?

665
00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:55,240
Chris the Cracker.

666
00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:57,360
Yeah, the ones with Adidas on...

667
00:22:57,360 --> 00:22:58,740
Maybe so on Henry Street.

668
00:22:58,740 --> 00:22:59,420
If you need an...

669
00:22:59,420 --> 00:23:00,320
Umbro and that, you know?

670
00:23:00,340 --> 00:23:01,680
If you need an Adidas...

671
00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:01,880
Yeah.

672
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:03,020
I'm doing...

673
00:23:03,020 --> 00:23:03,220
Yeah.

674
00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:05,120
And make an order.

675
00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:06,340
Only make an order.

676
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:06,960
Fake, yeah.

677
00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:08,500
If you do the order...

678
00:23:08,500 --> 00:23:09,820
Then I will keep ready.

679
00:23:10,620 --> 00:23:11,300
They're snide, yeah?

680
00:23:11,600 --> 00:23:11,800
Yeah.

681
00:23:11,940 --> 00:23:12,440
Yeah, yeah.

682
00:23:12,740 --> 00:23:13,400
So what do you do?

683
00:23:13,460 --> 00:23:13,880
Adidas?

684
00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:14,680
Umbro?

685
00:23:14,900 --> 00:23:16,240
What does he mean when he says

686
00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:17,240
they're snide?

687
00:23:17,420 --> 00:23:18,100
They're snide, yeah?

688
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:20,340
Are they gonna be snide?

689
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:21,470
Are the stuff that you're

690
00:23:21,470 --> 00:23:22,760
selling me snide, is it?

691
00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:23,920
Yeah.

692
00:23:24,080 --> 00:23:24,580
Yeah, yeah.

693
00:23:24,880 --> 00:23:25,540
So what do you do?

694
00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:25,760
Adidas?

695
00:23:25,760 --> 00:23:26,120
Gajie.

696
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:26,920
Hooky.

697
00:23:27,260 --> 00:23:28,100
Okay, I didn't know that.

698
00:23:28,100 --> 00:23:28,380
Umbro.

699
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:29,000
Adidas anything.

700
00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:29,560
Pima.

701
00:23:29,860 --> 00:23:30,060
Any.

702
00:23:31,020 --> 00:23:31,300
Any.

703
00:23:31,420 --> 00:23:32,060
I'll show you one.

704
00:23:32,060 --> 00:23:32,240
Yeah.

705
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:34,840
Despite the Christmas rush...

706
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:36,340
For genuine orders, the Singhs

707
00:23:36,340 --> 00:23:37,560
are not averse to...

708
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:39,150
I thought snidey means like, oh,

709
00:23:39,150 --> 00:23:40,000
he's a bit sly.

710
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:41,780
I suppose it would work, yeah.

711
00:23:41,940 --> 00:23:42,880
Double dealing.

712
00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:45,470
They'll fit in our order for so-called

713
00:23:45,470 --> 00:23:47,120
snide or dodgy gear.

714
00:23:47,180 --> 00:23:48,260
Snide.

715
00:23:48,260 --> 00:23:48,760
Snide.

716
00:23:48,760 --> 00:24:01,680
The lovely ferry.

717
00:24:01,680 --> 00:24:03,120
Lan in Northern Ireland.

718
00:24:03,120 --> 00:24:06,620
Years ago, I was Chinese.

719
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:12,020
Thank you very much there, Bob

720
00:24:12,020 --> 00:24:12,580
Urto.

721
00:24:12,580 --> 00:24:14,980
And Kiki Stiefhammer.

722
00:24:14,980 --> 00:24:16,240
All right.

723
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:16,820
Hi.

724
00:24:17,180 --> 00:24:18,430
And the Campbell brothers are

725
00:24:18,430 --> 00:24:19,260
in the soup.

726
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:19,960
Here we go.

727
00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:21,660
They've been pleading for days

728
00:24:21,660 --> 00:24:23,360
to see our hooky samples, so we

729
00:24:23,360 --> 00:24:24,760
make a home delivery.

730
00:24:25,180 --> 00:24:26,360
Campbells are after you.

731
00:24:26,860 --> 00:24:28,840
And it's a nice collar over

732
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:30,580
that jumper as well.

733
00:24:30,580 --> 00:24:32,670
That would have took a little

734
00:24:32,670 --> 00:24:36,140
bit of an arrangement, a pre-arrangement.

735
00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:37,480
Yeah.

736
00:24:40,580 --> 00:24:40,270
Andy Campbell is keen to unload

737
00:24:40,270 --> 00:24:42,720
the car and get our fakes out

738
00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:45,340
of sight into his brother's

739
00:24:45,340 --> 00:24:46,400
kitchen.

740
00:24:50,740 --> 00:24:52,310
David spells out the realities

741
00:24:52,310 --> 00:24:53,860
of operating in a business.

742
00:24:53,860 --> 00:24:55,780
He's some shapers, David.

743
00:24:55,880 --> 00:24:57,230
They're favoured by paramilitary

744
00:24:57,230 --> 00:24:57,840
terrorists.

745
00:24:58,200 --> 00:24:58,460
Fuck.

746
00:24:58,720 --> 00:24:59,960
He explains he daren't undercut

747
00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:00,400
them.

748
00:25:01,380 --> 00:25:02,140
Well, I don't bother me.

749
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:03,100
They don't bother me much, but

750
00:25:03,100 --> 00:25:04,120
they would warn you, first of

751
00:25:04,120 --> 00:25:04,720
all, you know.

752
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:05,240
All right.

753
00:25:05,300 --> 00:25:05,860
I don't give a fuck.

754
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:07,020
I just do my own thing.

755
00:25:07,140 --> 00:25:07,880
I don't give a fuck.

756
00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:08,380
I don't give a fuck.

757
00:25:08,380 --> 00:25:08,620
I don't give a fuck.

758
00:25:08,620 --> 00:25:09,420
That's all I do.

759
00:25:10,020 --> 00:25:11,020
Will and Dale's all I do.

760
00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:12,860
Minutes later, over mugs of

761
00:25:12,860 --> 00:25:14,960
coffee, they count out how many

762
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:15,680
items.

763
00:25:15,780 --> 00:25:17,260
He's got a little notepad.

764
00:25:17,320 --> 00:25:18,080
He's got a ledger.

765
00:25:18,900 --> 00:25:21,210
It's just an ordinary run-of-the-mill

766
00:25:21,210 --> 00:25:22,760
living room situation.

767
00:25:23,500 --> 00:25:26,820
Tea or coffee on tap, on tick.

768
00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:28,340
I do.

769
00:25:29,020 --> 00:25:29,880
And the washing line and all

770
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:30,920
that business.

771
00:25:30,980 --> 00:25:31,860
I do the only thing, I know it.

772
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:34,800
I don't give a fuck in life.

773
00:25:35,020 --> 00:25:35,600
That's all I do.

774
00:25:36,180 --> 00:25:37,180
Will and Dale's all I do.

775
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:38,960
Minutes later, over mugs of

776
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:40,970
coffee, they count out how many

777
00:25:40,970 --> 00:25:42,520
items we've brought.

778
00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:47,940
With an extensive network of

779
00:25:47,940 --> 00:25:52,200
dealers to supply, they're more

780
00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:56,800
interested in the quantity than

781
00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:57,340
the quality.

782
00:25:57,340 --> 00:25:58,640
Yeah, pink shorts.

783
00:25:59,820 --> 00:26:00,280
Very handy.

784
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:01,400
There's your nest.

785
00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:02,420
There's my few.

786
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:03,580
Good talking.

787
00:26:03,580 --> 00:26:06,200
Like an office.

788
00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:08,320
Phones going.

789
00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:09,320
Business is booming.

790
00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:12,590
And a lovely, lovely vase as

791
00:26:12,590 --> 00:26:13,020
well.

792
00:26:13,500 --> 00:26:16,020
Just on the shelf there.

793
00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:17,630
Probably some place for the

794
00:26:17,630 --> 00:26:19,380
keys and other bits and pieces

795
00:26:19,380 --> 00:26:20,180
next to it.

796
00:26:20,580 --> 00:26:21,920
It's probably loads of coins.

797
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:24,110
Like old copper coins inside

798
00:26:24,110 --> 00:26:24,620
that.

799
00:26:26,740 --> 00:26:27,600
Warning his...

800
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:28,960
And then some fabric softener

801
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:29,360
as well.

802
00:26:29,420 --> 00:26:30,980
Maybe they're washing the

803
00:26:30,980 --> 00:26:33,080
garments while they're there.

804
00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:34,320
Or this is just someone's...

805
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:35,620
Maybe this is just his house.

806
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:37,160
Son, not to say a word about

807
00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:37,900
the deal.

808
00:26:38,240 --> 00:26:39,490
David Campbell counts out the

809
00:26:39,490 --> 00:26:39,980
cash.

810
00:26:42,100 --> 00:26:42,460
Two.

811
00:26:44,460 --> 00:26:45,460
More than sat...

812
00:26:45,460 --> 00:26:46,860
The sound of that cash.

813
00:26:47,260 --> 00:26:48,900
That's a lot of notes.

814
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:50,920
Making his son not to say a

815
00:26:50,920 --> 00:26:52,470
word about the deal, David

816
00:26:52,470 --> 00:26:54,200
Campbell counts out the cash.

817
00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:56,720
Two.

818
00:26:58,460 --> 00:26:58,820
Three.

819
00:26:58,820 --> 00:27:00,380
More than satisfied, the

820
00:27:00,380 --> 00:27:01,800
Campbells ask for a weekly

821
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:03,410
supply of boots, jumpers,

822
00:27:03,410 --> 00:27:05,040
sweatshirts and tracksuits

823
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:06,780
worth £25,000.

824
00:27:07,620 --> 00:27:08,850
But David Campbell doesn't want

825
00:27:08,850 --> 00:27:10,600
deliveries to his home.

826
00:27:11,500 --> 00:27:12,620
I've arranged a spot for it.

827
00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:13,540
I can't bring it.

828
00:27:13,780 --> 00:27:14,510
I've got a piece of that in my

829
00:27:14,510 --> 00:27:14,900
house.

830
00:27:15,260 --> 00:27:16,180
I'd love to f*** another one.

831
00:27:16,180 --> 00:27:16,320
Yeah.

832
00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:16,920
You know what I mean?

833
00:27:17,100 --> 00:27:17,660
What's the chance of you

834
00:27:17,660 --> 00:27:18,520
picking up in the show?

835
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:18,800
You're right.

836
00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:22,210
For our Del Boy and Rodney, it's

837
00:27:22,210 --> 00:27:25,800
been lovely jubbly all the way.

838
00:27:26,200 --> 00:27:27,560
Our order book is bursting.

839
00:27:30,140 --> 00:27:31,460
I've got a few kickers.

840
00:27:31,700 --> 00:27:33,160
Chris Sedgwick and his mate

841
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:35,500
Alex manage a hotel near Sudbury.

842
00:27:36,060 --> 00:27:38,150
They put in an order for £2,000,

843
00:27:38,150 --> 00:27:40,020
saying they'll get students to

844
00:27:40,020 --> 00:27:41,360
sell it as stolen.

845
00:27:41,360 --> 00:27:41,880
Mixed box.

846
00:27:42,100 --> 00:27:42,880
Yeah, do a mix box.

847
00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:45,040
After just a week of dodgy

848
00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:47,930
wheeling and dealing, our hooky

849
00:27:47,930 --> 00:27:52,380
order book has passed the £650,000

850
00:27:52,380 --> 00:27:53,260
mark.

851
00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:57,300
The counterfeit con men are

852
00:27:57,300 --> 00:27:58,240
making a fortune.

853
00:27:58,460 --> 00:27:59,240
Thank you very much.

854
00:27:59,240 --> 00:27:59,860
Remember Imran Baj...

855
00:27:59,860 --> 00:28:01,300
Darren Mack.

856
00:28:01,360 --> 00:28:03,610
He wanted drugs in exchange for

857
00:28:03,610 --> 00:28:04,360
jeans.

858
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:04,980
What do you need?

859
00:28:05,460 --> 00:28:05,980
Right, good.

860
00:28:06,820 --> 00:28:07,380
What's he gonna know?

861
00:28:08,660 --> 00:28:09,880
But he's about to get more than

862
00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:11,600
he bargained for.

863
00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:15,080
A great deal of kickers jeans

864
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:17,740
for a box of heroin.

865
00:28:17,740 --> 00:28:18,910
Imran Bajet, Roger Cook,

866
00:28:18,910 --> 00:28:20,060
Central Television.

867
00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:21,430
I want to talk to you about

868
00:28:21,430 --> 00:28:22,960
drug dealing and counterfeit

869
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:23,560
jeans.

870
00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:27,320
You are offering up to £4,000.

871
00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:30,440
Thank you very much there,

872
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:31,580
Colin.

873
00:28:31,680 --> 00:28:33,250
I would love to know the size,

874
00:28:33,250 --> 00:28:35,130
says Colin, thanks for the tip,

875
00:28:35,130 --> 00:28:36,900
of those hidden body cams these

876
00:28:36,900 --> 00:28:37,480
books used to wear.

877
00:28:37,540 --> 00:28:38,340
They're not GoPro.

878
00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:41,470
They wouldn't be GoPro size at

879
00:28:41,470 --> 00:28:42,220
all.

880
00:28:42,860 --> 00:28:44,700
It would be like the one that

881
00:28:44,700 --> 00:28:46,300
Homer had to wear in that

882
00:28:46,300 --> 00:28:48,470
oversized Stetson hat when they

883
00:28:48,470 --> 00:28:50,660
had to get him to go into Apu's

884
00:28:50,660 --> 00:28:51,140
shop.

885
00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:52,950
But that was a nice little move

886
00:28:52,950 --> 00:28:53,560
there.

887
00:28:53,560 --> 00:28:55,540
Look, he gave him the old

888
00:28:55,540 --> 00:28:58,380
fucking 180 degree side spin

889
00:28:58,380 --> 00:28:59,580
sweep lock.

890
00:29:00,620 --> 00:29:01,560
Which is...

891
00:29:03,940 --> 00:29:04,850
He does like a little back up

892
00:29:04,850 --> 00:29:07,060
and then see ya.

893
00:29:07,820 --> 00:29:08,800
Although look, he's grabbing

894
00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:10,270
something out the hand of your

895
00:29:10,270 --> 00:29:11,060
man there.

896
00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:13,200
Maybe the...

897
00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:14,690
There's another fella who's in

898
00:29:14,690 --> 00:29:15,160
on it.

899
00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:17,180
Schnuffles, thank you very much.

900
00:29:17,260 --> 00:29:18,140
And Captain Sack.

901
00:29:18,360 --> 00:29:18,980
For jeans.

902
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:21,820
You were offering up to 4,000

903
00:29:21,820 --> 00:29:23,440
pairs of jeans a week in

904
00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:25,320
exchange for cocaine.

905
00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:26,860
Weren't you?

906
00:29:28,140 --> 00:29:28,780
Get away the...

907
00:29:28,780 --> 00:29:30,910
In part two, we stir up trouble

908
00:29:30,910 --> 00:29:32,820
for the Campbells and other

909
00:29:32,820 --> 00:29:33,820
villains.

910
00:29:33,820 --> 00:29:34,540
Come on.

911
00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:39,870
I think he might have had a few

912
00:29:39,870 --> 00:29:41,700
on him.

913
00:29:41,700 --> 00:29:43,920
Change for cocaine.

914
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:45,360
But I like the little run that

915
00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:46,520
this guy does here.

916
00:29:46,620 --> 00:29:48,820
It's like a little hop, skip

917
00:29:48,820 --> 00:29:50,720
situation extraordinaire.

918
00:29:51,620 --> 00:29:53,100
I wonder if there's any nice

919
00:29:53,100 --> 00:29:55,410
music for that there that I

920
00:29:55,410 --> 00:29:56,180
have.

921
00:29:56,220 --> 00:29:57,390
I don't want to waste too much

922
00:29:57,390 --> 00:29:58,720
time looking for the music.

923
00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:01,680
Moonlight Sonata.

924
00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:03,280
I don't know if that would fit.

925
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:04,780
But we'll play it anyway.

926
00:30:04,860 --> 00:30:05,500
It might work.

927
00:30:06,540 --> 00:30:07,900
If it plays, that is.

928
00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:10,440
And then over to this.

929
00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:14,820
A capoeira move.

930
00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:16,660
Out of the lock.

931
00:30:16,660 --> 00:30:29,860
Offering up to 4,000 pairs of

932
00:30:29,860 --> 00:30:39,630
jeans a week in exchange for

933
00:30:39,630 --> 00:30:43,120
cocaine.

934
00:30:43,120 --> 00:31:00,790
In part two, we stir up trouble

935
00:31:00,790 --> 00:31:13,100
for the Campbells.

936
00:31:13,100 --> 00:31:13,880
and other villains.

937
00:31:14,140 --> 00:31:14,580
Come on.

938
00:31:14,820 --> 00:31:16,520
F*** off you, you f***ing jatsy.

939
00:31:17,260 --> 00:31:18,700
F*** out of us.

940
00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:20,700
And we find out that on Hooky

941
00:31:20,700 --> 00:31:22,100
Street...

942
00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:25,540
Nothing is as it seems.

943
00:31:27,220 --> 00:31:28,100
That's great.

944
00:31:28,280 --> 00:31:28,840
Great job.

945
00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:29,480
What was that?

946
00:31:30,180 --> 00:31:33,030
I wonder if they have to get a

947
00:31:33,030 --> 00:31:33,940
twin.

948
00:31:34,580 --> 00:31:35,790
Did she have a twin for that

949
00:31:35,790 --> 00:31:37,780
little situation there?

950
00:31:38,140 --> 00:31:39,100
Willem de Friend, thank you

951
00:31:39,100 --> 00:31:39,740
very much.

952
00:31:40,880 --> 00:31:42,440
Nothing is as it seems.

953
00:31:42,780 --> 00:31:43,100
Boom.

954
00:31:43,100 --> 00:31:43,160
Boom.

955
00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:53,680
Please have the adverts in.

956
00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:54,760
Please have the adverts in.

957
00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:55,320
No.

958
00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:57,040
Doesn't matter.

959
00:31:57,560 --> 00:31:58,020
Still good.

960
00:31:58,020 --> 00:31:59,380
London's Oxford Street.

961
00:32:00,380 --> 00:32:01,580
A shopper's paradise.

962
00:32:05,500 --> 00:32:06,180
Some great...

963
00:32:06,180 --> 00:32:08,320
...classic faces.

964
00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:10,800
Faces from the past.

965
00:32:13,020 --> 00:32:14,160
That's a classic face.

966
00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:19,160
Right there.

967
00:32:19,900 --> 00:32:20,820
Stanley Kubrick.

968
00:32:22,580 --> 00:32:23,660
Eyes wide shut.

969
00:32:25,620 --> 00:32:26,820
And was that a spit?

970
00:32:28,220 --> 00:32:28,700
Ugh.

971
00:32:28,940 --> 00:32:29,560
Look at that.

972
00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:30,420
Look at...

973
00:32:30,420 --> 00:32:31,940
As we're looking at...

974
00:32:31,940 --> 00:32:32,940
Kubrick...

975
00:32:32,940 --> 00:32:34,040
...slash...

976
00:32:34,040 --> 00:32:34,940
...Jerry Adams...

977
00:32:34,940 --> 00:32:37,140
Someone walks into shot...

978
00:32:37,140 --> 00:32:38,900
...and just launches a growly...

979
00:32:38,900 --> 00:32:40,080
...right in front of us.

980
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:48,060
Welcome to Growlywood.

981
00:32:55,340 --> 00:32:57,180
...and a haven for the army of

982
00:32:57,180 --> 00:32:58,180
conmen...

983
00:32:58,180 --> 00:32:59,670
...peddling fake perfume and

984
00:32:59,670 --> 00:33:00,260
clothing.

985
00:33:00,260 --> 00:33:02,260
Size of the fucking...

986
00:33:02,260 --> 00:33:05,200
...the handfuls of dodgy...

987
00:33:05,200 --> 00:33:06,480
...Giorginio or...

988
00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:07,260
...Giorgio...

989
00:33:07,260 --> 00:33:10,260
...into the Tesco bag...

990
00:33:10,260 --> 00:33:12,300
...just as you like.

991
00:33:12,500 --> 00:33:13,080
There you go.

992
00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:14,260
Pretty sharply lively...

993
00:33:14,780 --> 00:33:16,140
...before the policemen stop.

994
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:17,160
Lovely stuff.

995
00:33:17,340 --> 00:33:18,300
Old school.

996
00:33:18,500 --> 00:33:19,500
Get it bought before the

997
00:33:19,500 --> 00:33:20,720
fucking police come.

998
00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:21,260
It's just...

999
00:33:21,980 --> 00:33:23,050
...done like that out on the

1000
00:33:23,050 --> 00:33:23,660
street.

1001
00:33:23,660 --> 00:33:27,640
...the music.

1002
00:33:31,300 --> 00:33:32,520
It's like Metal Gear.

1003
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:34,520
The music as Snake...

1004
00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:35,960
...has been launched...

1005
00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:37,260
...into Shadow Moses.

1006
00:33:37,540 --> 00:33:39,000
What's the insertion method?

1007
00:33:40,200 --> 00:33:41,260
What's the...

1008
00:33:41,260 --> 00:33:42,720
...what's the mission?

1009
00:33:43,660 --> 00:33:44,060
You...

1010
00:33:44,060 --> 00:33:45,840
...you have to catch...

1011
00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:47,260
...all of these...

1012
00:33:47,260 --> 00:33:50,260
...peddlers of Giorgio Armani...

1013
00:33:51,060 --> 00:33:52,280
...fake perfume Snake.

1014
00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:54,900
...they say they're gonna sell...

1015
00:33:54,900 --> 00:33:56,240
...Kicker's jeans for heroin.

1016
00:33:56,600 --> 00:33:57,800
...and if they don't...

1017
00:33:57,800 --> 00:33:58,860
...they'll launch a nuke.

1018
00:34:00,180 --> 00:34:01,620
...all weapons OSP.

1019
00:34:02,620 --> 00:34:03,940
...this is a top secret...

1020
00:34:03,940 --> 00:34:05,140
...black ops...

1021
00:34:05,140 --> 00:34:06,900
...here Peter Greenwood is king.

1022
00:34:09,200 --> 00:34:10,480
Greenwood is after you.

1023
00:34:10,600 --> 00:34:11,500
On a good day...

1024
00:34:11,500 --> 00:34:12,140
...he can make...

1025
00:34:12,140 --> 00:34:13,560
...2,000 pounds an hour.

1026
00:34:14,360 --> 00:34:14,940
...what?

1027
00:34:16,260 --> 00:34:17,160
Fucking hell.

1028
00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:18,880
That's in...

1029
00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:20,960
...in 1997 money as well.

1030
00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:22,180
...on a good day...

1031
00:34:22,180 --> 00:34:22,820
...he can make...

1032
00:34:22,820 --> 00:34:24,280
...2,000 pounds an hour.

1033
00:34:24,700 --> 00:34:25,960
...I've infiltrated...

1034
00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:26,660
...Hookie Street.

1035
00:34:30,660 --> 00:34:32,180
...on a good day...

1036
00:34:32,180 --> 00:34:32,780
...he can make...

1037
00:34:32,780 --> 00:34:34,160
...2,000 pounds an hour.

1038
00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:41,500
...one of his cohorts...

1039
00:34:41,500 --> 00:34:42,580
...Robert Collins...

1040
00:34:42,580 --> 00:34:43,500
...sets out his...

1041
00:34:43,500 --> 00:34:44,380
...makeshift stall.

1042
00:34:44,540 --> 00:34:46,420
Just outside McDonald's.

1043
00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:48,040
No care...

1044
00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:48,540
...whatsoever.

1045
00:34:49,100 --> 00:34:50,020
Where were the police?

1046
00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:50,760
Do you know...

1047
00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:52,040
...one of the busiest...

1048
00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:53,920
...shopping streets...

1049
00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:54,760
...if they said...

1050
00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:55,520
...it's Oxford Street...

1051
00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:56,620
...like that's one of the busiest...

1052
00:34:56,620 --> 00:34:56,960
...isn't it?

1053
00:34:58,280 --> 00:35:00,540
How would you get away...

1054
00:35:00,540 --> 00:35:01,420
...with that sort of behaviour?

1055
00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:04,840
One of his cohorts...

1056
00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:05,700
...Robert Collins...

1057
00:35:05,700 --> 00:35:06,740
...sets out his...

1058
00:35:06,740 --> 00:35:07,680
...makeshift stall.

1059
00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:09,340
It's like a little...

1060
00:35:09,340 --> 00:35:10,600
...close-up magic stand.

1061
00:35:10,660 --> 00:35:11,560
He's gonna start doing...

1062
00:35:11,560 --> 00:35:12,560
...the three-card shuffle.

1063
00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:14,680
Find the lady.

1064
00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:16,640
Collins has a tendency...

1065
00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:17,960
...to turn nasty...

1066
00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:18,620
...with all customers.

1067
00:35:19,060 --> 00:35:19,340
Brilliant.

1068
00:35:20,120 --> 00:35:20,960
Look at that...

1069
00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:22,020
...underneath the table look.

1070
00:35:22,060 --> 00:35:22,560
He lifts it up.

1071
00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:24,080
He's got a little...

1072
00:35:24,080 --> 00:35:24,840
...fucking bin...

1073
00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:26,360
...or a little bucket of stuff.

1074
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:28,480
So I suppose...

1075
00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:30,520
...if shit hits the fan...

1076
00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:31,880
...that little top bit...

1077
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:33,160
...of the table can just...

1078
00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:34,840
...that'll just be thrown away...

1079
00:35:34,840 --> 00:35:35,340
...discarded.

1080
00:35:36,460 --> 00:35:37,180
And it'll...

1081
00:35:37,180 --> 00:35:37,500
...all...

1082
00:35:37,500 --> 00:35:38,780
...all operations then...

1083
00:35:38,780 --> 00:35:40,140
...will be focused on...

1084
00:35:40,140 --> 00:35:41,860
...securing the bucket...

1085
00:35:41,860 --> 00:35:43,240
...with the goods inside it.

1086
00:35:43,300 --> 00:35:44,300
Like...

1087
00:35:44,300 --> 00:35:45,900
...maybe there's a little man...

1088
00:35:45,900 --> 00:35:46,360
...inside it.

1089
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:50,780
But he does have a tendency...

1090
00:35:50,780 --> 00:35:51,820
...to turn nasty...

1091
00:35:51,820 --> 00:35:52,900
...so we might have to be...

1092
00:35:52,900 --> 00:35:53,860
...very cautious here...

1093
00:35:53,860 --> 00:35:54,180
...with what we're...

1094
00:35:54,180 --> 00:35:55,200
...has a tendency...

1095
00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:56,200
...broadcasting here.

1096
00:35:56,300 --> 00:35:57,300
...to turn nasty.

1097
00:35:57,300 --> 00:35:58,620
...with awkward customers.

1098
00:36:00,620 --> 00:36:01,220
That's it.

1099
00:36:01,300 --> 00:36:02,080
No different.

1100
00:36:03,240 --> 00:36:04,760
We decided to see...

1101
00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:05,520
...what would happen...

1102
00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:06,820
...if we made a purchase...

1103
00:36:06,820 --> 00:36:07,680
...and then complained.

1104
00:36:08,100 --> 00:36:09,260
Try before you buy.

1105
00:36:09,620 --> 00:36:10,380
So we do.

1106
00:36:10,380 --> 00:36:11,940
Try before you buy.

1107
00:36:12,020 --> 00:36:12,580
What are these orange?

1108
00:36:13,380 --> 00:36:15,420
I thought it was a snow globe...

1109
00:36:15,420 --> 00:36:16,500
...the way they were shaking it.

1110
00:36:16,500 --> 00:36:16,820
But it's...

1111
00:36:16,820 --> 00:36:17,900
...try before you buy.

1112
00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:18,940
So we...

1113
00:36:18,940 --> 00:36:19,700
...it's perfume.

1114
00:36:22,140 --> 00:36:22,540
...do.

1115
00:36:23,380 --> 00:36:23,700
Okay.

1116
00:36:24,240 --> 00:36:25,100
Hold on, hold on, hold on.

1117
00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:25,660
That's lovely.

1118
00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:27,980
But when we test the perfume...

1119
00:36:27,980 --> 00:36:28,500
...it stinks.

1120
00:36:28,900 --> 00:36:30,260
And when we complain...

1121
00:36:30,260 --> 00:36:31,260
...Collins erupts.

1122
00:36:31,900 --> 00:36:33,220
...ten pounds each of you...

1123
00:36:33,220 --> 00:36:34,080
...one of them.

1124
00:36:34,240 --> 00:36:35,180
...ten of you don't.

1125
00:36:35,220 --> 00:36:35,820
What would you want?

1126
00:36:35,820 --> 00:36:37,020
That's not the real McCoy, man.

1127
00:36:37,020 --> 00:36:46,740
Service with a smile.

1128
00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:47,240
Nice.

1129
00:36:47,540 --> 00:36:48,600
A nice man.

1130
00:36:49,180 --> 00:36:50,620
I did my Christmas shopping.

1131
00:36:50,620 --> 00:36:53,060
I found a nice man...

1132
00:36:53,060 --> 00:36:54,860
...outside McDonald's.

1133
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:56,900
And I bought some lovely perfumes...

1134
00:36:56,900 --> 00:36:58,420
...he was a friendly man.

1135
00:36:58,420 --> 00:36:59,780
You said he was the real McCoy.

1136
00:36:59,780 --> 00:37:00,240
What do you want?

1137
00:37:00,480 --> 00:37:00,720
...ten?

1138
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:03,900
I don't mind.

1139
00:37:03,900 --> 00:37:04,700
I'm not arguing with you...

1140
00:37:04,700 --> 00:37:05,940
...but don't say it's the real

1141
00:37:05,940 --> 00:37:06,540
McCoy, mate.

1142
00:37:06,540 --> 00:37:07,780
If you want to hit the wall...

1143
00:37:07,780 --> 00:37:08,920
...we can go round the corner...

1144
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:10,100
...do anything you f***ing like.

1145
00:37:10,100 --> 00:37:10,920
I can't argue with you, old

1146
00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:11,220
mate.

1147
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:12,180
That's the way...

1148
00:37:12,180 --> 00:37:12,960
That's business.

1149
00:37:13,140 --> 00:37:14,460
Old school business.

1150
00:37:14,940 --> 00:37:15,860
If you want to hit the wall...

1151
00:37:15,860 --> 00:37:16,980
...we can go round the corner...

1152
00:37:16,980 --> 00:37:18,160
...do anything you f***ing like.

1153
00:37:18,180 --> 00:37:18,980
I can't argue with you, old

1154
00:37:18,980 --> 00:37:19,280
mate.

1155
00:37:19,380 --> 00:37:20,080
Don't say it to me...

1156
00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:21,040
...it's the real McCoy, mate.

1157
00:37:21,100 --> 00:37:21,820
Go away!

1158
00:37:23,140 --> 00:37:23,720
I can't argue with you, old

1159
00:37:23,720 --> 00:37:24,360
mate.

1160
00:37:24,460 --> 00:37:25,180
Don't say it to me...

1161
00:37:25,180 --> 00:37:26,140
...it's the real McCoy, mate.

1162
00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:26,900
Go away!

1163
00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:31,420
His associate, Greenwood...

1164
00:37:31,420 --> 00:37:33,030
...controls several of the 40

1165
00:37:33,030 --> 00:37:33,720
teams...

1166
00:37:33,720 --> 00:37:35,400
...operating on any one day...

1167
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:36,080
Look at Greenwood.

1168
00:37:36,140 --> 00:37:37,460
Look at the speed...

1169
00:37:37,460 --> 00:37:38,620
...with which Greenwood...

1170
00:37:38,620 --> 00:37:40,620
...is operating down there.

1171
00:37:41,420 --> 00:37:42,200
He's got another...

1172
00:37:42,200 --> 00:37:43,040
...he's got a bin...

1173
00:37:43,040 --> 00:37:44,120
...or a bucket underneath...

1174
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:45,620
...and then a basket of stuff...

1175
00:37:45,620 --> 00:37:46,740
...on top of it as well...

1176
00:37:46,740 --> 00:37:47,660
...and he's got a load of green...

1177
00:37:48,780 --> 00:37:49,660
...green by name...

1178
00:37:49,660 --> 00:37:50,520
...green by nature...

1179
00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:51,680
...green plastic bags.

1180
00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:53,660
Greenwood controls...

1181
00:37:54,260 --> 00:37:54,680
...very fast.

1182
00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:55,840
...sever of the 40 teams...

1183
00:37:55,840 --> 00:37:57,480
...operating on any one day...

1184
00:37:57,480 --> 00:37:58,740
...who take more than...

1185
00:37:58,740 --> 00:38:00,120
...3 million pounds a year.

1186
00:38:00,980 --> 00:38:02,660
Using surveillance footage...

1187
00:38:02,660 --> 00:38:03,540
...westminster Trading

1188
00:38:03,540 --> 00:38:04,340
Standards Officer...

1189
00:38:04,340 --> 00:38:05,340
...Gary Cullymore...

1190
00:38:05,340 --> 00:38:07,220
...explains how the sting works.

1191
00:38:08,220 --> 00:38:09,340
This man, who is...

1192
00:38:09,340 --> 00:38:09,780
Oh, nice.

1193
00:38:09,820 --> 00:38:11,200
...Peter Leslie Greenwood...

1194
00:38:11,200 --> 00:38:12,340
...the organiser...

1195
00:38:12,340 --> 00:38:14,140
...he occasionally will...

1196
00:38:14,140 --> 00:38:15,980
...circulate some of the goods...

1197
00:38:15,980 --> 00:38:17,340
...which have been bought by...

1198
00:38:17,340 --> 00:38:18,340
...people working for him...

1199
00:38:18,340 --> 00:38:21,020
...but his primary role...

1200
00:38:21,020 --> 00:38:23,900
...is to organise the team...

1201
00:38:23,900 --> 00:38:26,580
...and to look after...

1202
00:38:26,580 --> 00:38:27,580
...what will become...

1203
00:38:27,580 --> 00:38:28,420
...a very, very...

1204
00:38:28,420 --> 00:38:29,580
He heard the synth...

1205
00:38:29,580 --> 00:38:40,580
...considerable amount of money...

1206
00:38:40,580 --> 00:38:42,580
...these four girls...

1207
00:38:42,580 --> 00:38:43,580
...are all...

1208
00:38:43,580 --> 00:38:45,260
...paid by the organiser...

1209
00:38:45,260 --> 00:38:46,260
...to entice members...

1210
00:38:46,260 --> 00:38:47,260
...members of the public...

1211
00:38:47,260 --> 00:38:48,260
...like this gentleman here...

1212
00:38:48,260 --> 00:38:49,260
...to...

1213
00:38:49,260 --> 00:38:50,420
...they are decoys...

1214
00:38:50,420 --> 00:38:52,260
...he's got three decoy ladies...

1215
00:38:52,260 --> 00:38:53,260
...anonymous...

1216
00:38:53,260 --> 00:38:53,260
...anonymous...

1217
00:38:53,260 --> 00:38:54,380
...thank you very much...

1218
00:38:54,380 --> 00:38:55,260
...buy...

1219
00:38:55,260 --> 00:38:57,260
...they pass the goods...

1220
00:38:57,260 --> 00:38:58,540
...that they have...

1221
00:38:58,540 --> 00:38:59,700
...appear to have bought...

1222
00:38:59,700 --> 00:39:00,870
...to the girl in the cheque

1223
00:39:00,870 --> 00:39:01,500
shirt...

1224
00:39:01,500 --> 00:39:02,360
...she is now...

1225
00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:02,940
...for instance...

1226
00:39:02,940 --> 00:39:03,940
...taking some...

1227
00:39:03,940 --> 00:39:05,380
...of what the other girls...

1228
00:39:05,380 --> 00:39:05,800
...just bought...

1229
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:06,940
...back to the cellar...

1230
00:39:06,940 --> 00:39:07,700
...and it will be...

1231
00:39:07,700 --> 00:39:08,680
...tipped back...

1232
00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:10,380
...into the tray...

1233
00:39:10,380 --> 00:39:11,040
...here is the...

1234
00:39:11,040 --> 00:39:11,940
...back to the cellar...

1235
00:39:11,940 --> 00:39:12,360
...heavy...

1236
00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:13,240
...duty...

1237
00:39:13,240 --> 00:39:14,120
...fag smokery...

1238
00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:14,880
...going on as well...

1239
00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:15,440
...look...

1240
00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:16,480
...and it will be...

1241
00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:17,600
...in every scene...

1242
00:39:17,600 --> 00:39:18,220
...everyone's got...

1243
00:39:18,220 --> 00:39:18,960
...got a cigarette...

1244
00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:20,040
...tipped back...

1245
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:20,420
...into the...

1246
00:39:20,420 --> 00:39:21,180
...good old days...

1247
00:39:21,180 --> 00:39:22,630
...before health and safety

1248
00:39:22,630 --> 00:39:23,360
stuff...

1249
00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:24,500
...here is the girl...

1250
00:39:24,500 --> 00:39:25,460
...coming back...

1251
00:39:25,460 --> 00:39:26,860
...to the organiser...

1252
00:39:26,860 --> 00:39:28,140
...she is already in possession...

1253
00:39:28,140 --> 00:39:29,320
...of a considerable amount of

1254
00:39:29,320 --> 00:39:29,860
money...

1255
00:39:29,860 --> 00:39:31,860
...they can take...

1256
00:39:31,860 --> 00:39:33,480
...a phenomenal amount of money...

1257
00:39:33,480 --> 00:39:34,340
...in a short time...

1258
00:39:34,340 --> 00:39:53,260
...a short time...

1259
00:39:53,260 --> 00:39:56,660
...thank you...

1260
00:39:56,660 --> 00:39:58,260
...thank you very much there...

1261
00:39:58,260 --> 00:39:59,280
...Frank Drebin...

1262
00:39:59,280 --> 00:40:02,280
...fascinating stuff...

1263
00:40:02,280 --> 00:40:04,280
...so lucrative...

1264
00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:05,660
...is the perfume game...

1265
00:40:05,660 --> 00:40:06,440
...that the gangs...

1266
00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:07,220
...quickly resort...

1267
00:40:07,220 --> 00:40:08,720
...to threats and abuse...

1268
00:40:08,720 --> 00:40:09,120
...lovely...

1269
00:40:09,120 --> 00:40:09,960
...trading standards...

1270
00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:10,860
...officers are treated...

1271
00:40:10,860 --> 00:40:11,660
...with contempt...

1272
00:40:11,660 --> 00:40:12,860
...we're filming...

1273
00:40:12,860 --> 00:40:13,460
...as they try...

1274
00:40:13,460 --> 00:40:14,360
...to make a seizure...

1275
00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:15,060
...without...

1276
00:40:15,060 --> 00:40:16,280
...in step sports...

1277
00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:18,280
...is after you...

1278
00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:22,580
...in step sports...

1279
00:40:22,580 --> 00:40:23,680
...today...

1280
00:40:23,680 --> 00:40:24,980
...if you've got a fucking...

1281
00:40:24,980 --> 00:40:26,300
...great instep...

1282
00:40:26,300 --> 00:40:27,500
...and its officers are treated...

1283
00:40:27,500 --> 00:40:28,000
...with contempt...

1284
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:29,380
...they have the inside edge...

1285
00:40:29,380 --> 00:40:31,680
...on all the best...

1286
00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:32,680
...runners and footwear...

1287
00:40:32,680 --> 00:40:33,960
...trainers...

1288
00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:35,380
...without police help...

1289
00:40:35,380 --> 00:40:36,260
...there's no policeman with

1290
00:40:36,260 --> 00:40:36,680
them...

1291
00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:38,080
...there's no police with them...

1292
00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:40,680
...oh can I find one...

1293
00:40:40,680 --> 00:41:04,580
...not having the power...

1294
00:41:04,580 --> 00:41:05,280
...of arrest...

1295
00:41:05,280 --> 00:41:06,480
...makes life difficult...

1296
00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:15,280
...he was a friendly man...

1297
00:41:15,280 --> 00:41:16,780
...I bought some stuff...

1298
00:41:16,780 --> 00:41:17,280
...from him...

1299
00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:19,680
...he said that I was a mug...

1300
00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:21,280
...and then he slapped me...

1301
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:22,580
...thank you very much there

1302
00:41:22,580 --> 00:41:23,180
Lisa...

1303
00:41:23,180 --> 00:41:23,800
...for the tip...

1304
00:41:23,800 --> 00:41:24,980
...can you shout out to Bob...

1305
00:41:24,980 --> 00:41:26,580
...it's his 34th...

1306
00:41:26,580 --> 00:41:27,780
...birthday today...

1307
00:41:27,780 --> 00:41:29,280
...happy birthday Bob...

1308
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:32,580
...he was a lovely man...

1309
00:41:32,580 --> 00:41:33,780
...I seen him outside...

1310
00:41:33,780 --> 00:41:34,880
...in step sports...

1311
00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:35,880
...I bought some stuff...

1312
00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:38,810
...and then he fucking slapped

1313
00:41:38,810 --> 00:41:39,680
me...

1314
00:41:39,680 --> 00:41:40,180
...he still...

1315
00:41:40,180 --> 00:41:40,880
...tugged my money...

1316
00:41:40,880 --> 00:41:41,680
...what part of this...

1317
00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:42,680
...cork wind out...

1318
00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:44,680
...there was no receipt Pat...

1319
00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:46,180
...there was no receipt...

1320
00:41:46,180 --> 00:41:47,380
...I asked for a receipt...

1321
00:41:47,380 --> 00:41:48,680
...and he beat me up...

1322
00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:52,780
...la la la la la...

1323
00:41:52,780 --> 00:41:53,880
...we've been on the road...

1324
00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:55,180
...for 10 days now...

1325
00:41:55,180 --> 00:41:55,880
...and have seen...

1326
00:41:55,880 --> 00:41:57,180
...dozens of customers...

1327
00:41:57,180 --> 00:41:59,280
...so...

1328
00:41:59,280 --> 00:41:59,980
...how many do you want?

1329
00:41:59,980 --> 00:42:02,180
...we're at the moment...

1330
00:42:02,180 --> 00:42:02,680
...I'm just saying...

1331
00:42:02,680 --> 00:42:03,980
...this is Jason Webb...

1332
00:42:03,980 --> 00:42:04,780
...from Tamworth...

1333
00:42:04,780 --> 00:42:07,580
...he places a regular...

1334
00:42:07,580 --> 00:42:08,580
...monthly order...

1335
00:42:08,580 --> 00:42:09,080
...webby...

1336
00:42:09,080 --> 00:42:09,780
...works out...

1337
00:42:09,780 --> 00:42:10,580
...marketing...

1338
00:42:10,580 --> 00:42:11,080
...like...

1339
00:42:11,080 --> 00:42:11,580
...we're running about...

1340
00:42:11,580 --> 00:42:12,280
...a couple of...

1341
00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:12,880
...thousand a month...

1342
00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:13,580
...maybe a thousand a week...

1343
00:42:13,580 --> 00:42:14,580
...Jason Webb...

1344
00:42:14,580 --> 00:42:15,580
...nicknamed...

1345
00:42:15,580 --> 00:42:16,580
...Spider...

1346
00:42:16,580 --> 00:42:17,680
...works out...

1347
00:42:17,680 --> 00:42:18,180
...marketing...

1348
00:42:18,180 --> 00:42:18,580
...like...

1349
00:42:18,580 --> 00:42:19,380
...we're running about...

1350
00:42:19,380 --> 00:42:19,580
...up to...

1351
00:42:19,580 --> 00:42:20,080
...a couple of...

1352
00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:20,780
...thousand a month...

1353
00:42:20,780 --> 00:42:22,080
...maybe a thousand a week...

1354
00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:24,080
A couple of thousand a week

1355
00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:27,600
We've now travelled over 5,000

1356
00:42:27,600 --> 00:42:27,740
miles

1357
00:42:27,740 --> 00:42:29,320
Lots and lots of shots of them

1358
00:42:29,320 --> 00:42:31,620
on fucking depressing grey

1359
00:42:31,620 --> 00:42:33,600
motorways

1360
00:42:33,600 --> 00:42:35,060
Files and our order book is

1361
00:42:35,060 --> 00:42:36,660
touching the million pound

1362
00:42:36,660 --> 00:42:38,920
A million pound in 1997

1363
00:42:38,920 --> 00:42:40,760
I don't know where the sound

1364
00:42:40,760 --> 00:42:41,920
has gone for this

1365
00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:44,400
Maybe whoever Cook reports the

1366
00:42:44,400 --> 00:42:46,780
channel wasn't allowed to put

1367
00:42:46,780 --> 00:42:47,780
the sound on

1368
00:42:47,780 --> 00:42:50,590
Maybe they'd extended or they'd

1369
00:42:50,590 --> 00:42:53,140
run out of fucking copyright

1370
00:42:53,140 --> 00:42:56,690
For the entirety of the Only Fools

1371
00:42:56,690 --> 00:42:59,000
and Horses theme tune

1372
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:00,520
Only Tools and Corpses, thank

1373
00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:01,200
you very much

1374
00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:05,980
So this obviously had some sort

1375
00:43:05,980 --> 00:43:07,860
of tune to it

1376
00:43:07,860 --> 00:43:11,380
It's a bizarre sort of montage

1377
00:43:11,380 --> 00:43:16,130
Very kind of the sun sort of ITV

1378
00:43:16,130 --> 00:43:17,040
daily sport

1379
00:43:17,040 --> 00:43:19,280
Vives about it

1380
00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:23,900
And I don't know what it means

1381
00:43:23,900 --> 00:43:24,720
I don't know what they're

1382
00:43:24,720 --> 00:43:25,180
trying to say

1383
00:43:25,180 --> 00:43:27,020
I think maybe with the money

1384
00:43:27,020 --> 00:43:28,400
that they're making

1385
00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:29,780
They pay for all this stuff

1386
00:43:29,780 --> 00:43:32,460
What does it all mean?

1387
00:43:35,040 --> 00:43:36,880
It's very glamorous, that's all

1388
00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:37,400
we do know

1389
00:43:37,400 --> 00:43:43,320
They're living the life

1390
00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:51,730
Back in Oxford Street, we have

1391
00:43:51,730 --> 00:43:52,930
a business proposition for

1392
00:43:52,930 --> 00:43:54,220
another of Greenwood's

1393
00:43:54,220 --> 00:43:54,900
associates

1394
00:43:54,900 --> 00:43:57,380
I mean yeah, if they bought all

1395
00:43:57,380 --> 00:43:59,280
that stuff and they're showing

1396
00:43:59,280 --> 00:44:00,660
us all the stuff they bought

1397
00:44:00,660 --> 00:44:02,770
Then I just don't understand

1398
00:44:02,770 --> 00:44:04,780
what the necessity was to do

1399
00:44:04,780 --> 00:44:08,770
this with these ladies in this

1400
00:44:08,770 --> 00:44:09,960
scene

1401
00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:11,260
Because

1402
00:44:11,260 --> 00:44:13,680
Yeah, we can see what they

1403
00:44:13,680 --> 00:44:14,360
bought

1404
00:44:14,360 --> 00:44:16,450
Did they buy the three-piece

1405
00:44:16,450 --> 00:44:17,520
suite as well?

1406
00:44:17,820 --> 00:44:19,460
I thought that this is like a

1407
00:44:19,460 --> 00:44:21,300
scene, like a prelude to a

1408
00:44:21,300 --> 00:44:21,780
sting

1409
00:44:21,780 --> 00:44:23,600
Whereby they're showing us the

1410
00:44:23,600 --> 00:44:25,340
room that they're setting up

1411
00:44:25,340 --> 00:44:26,410
Where then they're going to

1412
00:44:26,410 --> 00:44:26,780
make a deal

1413
00:44:26,780 --> 00:44:28,060
I don't know

1414
00:44:28,060 --> 00:44:31,050
Back in Oxford Street, we have

1415
00:44:31,050 --> 00:44:33,730
a business proposition for

1416
00:44:33,730 --> 00:44:36,000
another of Greenwood's

1417
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:37,260
associates

1418
00:44:37,260 --> 00:44:39,900
We asked him if he can fill a

1419
00:44:39,900 --> 00:44:42,900
big Christmas order for Snide

1420
00:44:42,900 --> 00:44:45,820
perfume from a local factory

1421
00:44:45,820 --> 00:44:47,630
I'm in London, I definitely

1422
00:44:47,630 --> 00:44:49,680
want them, I've got the money,

1423
00:44:49,680 --> 00:44:50,990
I've got the money in here, in

1424
00:44:50,990 --> 00:44:51,480
my wallet

1425
00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:53,930
The deal is done and he goes to

1426
00:44:53,930 --> 00:44:56,180
collect our order from his

1427
00:44:56,180 --> 00:44:57,400
secret stash

1428
00:44:57,400 --> 00:45:00,770
The deal is done so I better be

1429
00:45:00,770 --> 00:45:01,740
leaving

1430
00:45:01,740 --> 00:45:05,160
We arrive to take delivery

1431
00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:08,880
Nice car, whatever that Ford

1432
00:45:08,880 --> 00:45:12,280
Like an estate or station wagon

1433
00:45:12,280 --> 00:45:13,500
Soho Square

1434
00:45:13,500 --> 00:45:15,950
I don't think anyone can take

1435
00:45:15,950 --> 00:45:18,070
any notice of us here, they're

1436
00:45:18,070 --> 00:45:18,940
all loading and unloading

1437
00:45:18,940 --> 00:45:20,100
There's lots of lids and vans

1438
00:45:20,100 --> 00:45:20,540
around us

1439
00:45:20,540 --> 00:45:22,230
Are these fake, is he fake this

1440
00:45:22,230 --> 00:45:22,800
fella?

1441
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:25,380
And are these the real, the

1442
00:45:25,380 --> 00:45:27,600
real dodgeballers?

1443
00:45:28,260 --> 00:45:29,370
And is he like the decoy

1444
00:45:29,370 --> 00:45:30,340
octopus?

1445
00:45:30,340 --> 00:45:33,000
Well I don't think anyone can

1446
00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:35,910
take any notice of us here,

1447
00:45:35,910 --> 00:45:38,880
they're all loading and unloading

1448
00:45:38,880 --> 00:45:39,990
There's lots of lids and vans

1449
00:45:39,990 --> 00:45:40,440
around us

1450
00:45:40,440 --> 00:45:41,940
F*** knows, I don't know what

1451
00:45:41,940 --> 00:45:42,360
that is

1452
00:45:42,360 --> 00:45:44,040
There's vans all over the

1453
00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:44,960
bloody place

1454
00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:46,920
It feels like Beatles about in

1455
00:45:46,920 --> 00:45:48,460
some parts of it as well

1456
00:45:48,460 --> 00:45:51,000
It's like they've seen the

1457
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:52,790
camera, he's actually looking

1458
00:45:52,790 --> 00:45:53,930
at the f***ing camera that's

1459
00:45:53,930 --> 00:45:54,440
filming him

1460
00:45:54,440 --> 00:45:56,190
It's obviously not a spy camera,

1461
00:45:56,190 --> 00:45:56,740
it's a big

1462
00:45:56,740 --> 00:45:58,900
You know, to get that kind of

1463
00:45:58,900 --> 00:46:01,330
quality, probably is a good big

1464
00:46:01,330 --> 00:46:01,920
camera

1465
00:46:01,920 --> 00:46:03,420
You know, this is the moment

1466
00:46:03,420 --> 00:46:04,880
that you should have split

1467
00:46:04,880 --> 00:46:06,810
When you saw the dodgy camera

1468
00:46:06,810 --> 00:46:08,940
in the f***ing shop opposite

1469
00:46:08,940 --> 00:46:10,220
you behind the glass

1470
00:46:10,220 --> 00:46:13,130
Probably a moment just to go,

1471
00:46:13,130 --> 00:46:14,230
right, well let's get out of

1472
00:46:14,230 --> 00:46:15,280
here, this is not good

1473
00:46:15,280 --> 00:46:23,920
There's vans all over the

1474
00:46:23,920 --> 00:46:28,340
bloody place

1475
00:46:28,340 --> 00:46:29,820
So this is in a van

1476
00:46:29,820 --> 00:46:33,590
That's a great little situation

1477
00:46:33,590 --> 00:46:34,300
there

1478
00:46:34,300 --> 00:46:37,500
The moment you should have left

1479
00:46:37,500 --> 00:46:40,000
I don't know what that is

1480
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:41,600
There's vans

1481
00:46:41,600 --> 00:46:43,160
I don't know what that is

1482
00:46:43,160 --> 00:46:45,100
And a great cover because he's

1483
00:46:45,100 --> 00:46:45,860
operating

1484
00:46:45,860 --> 00:46:47,750
He's flying by the seat of his

1485
00:46:47,750 --> 00:46:48,180
pants

1486
00:46:48,180 --> 00:46:49,960
He has to say something

1487
00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:51,920
And what he comes up with is

1488
00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:53,690
Don't worry about it, there's vans

1489
00:46:53,690 --> 00:46:55,140
flying all over the place

1490
00:46:55,140 --> 00:46:55,920
And it works

1491
00:46:55,920 --> 00:46:58,390
Well I don't think anyone can

1492
00:46:58,390 --> 00:47:00,620
take any notice of us here

1493
00:47:00,620 --> 00:47:01,940
How is the audio picking them

1494
00:47:01,940 --> 00:47:02,080
up?

1495
00:47:02,220 --> 00:47:03,940
I think he, this guy here in

1496
00:47:03,940 --> 00:47:05,060
the big green coat

1497
00:47:05,060 --> 00:47:06,560
All loading and unloading

1498
00:47:06,560 --> 00:47:08,200
And the tie and the purple

1499
00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:08,600
shirt

1500
00:47:08,600 --> 00:47:11,870
I think he's wearing a covert

1501
00:47:11,870 --> 00:47:13,020
radio mic

1502
00:47:13,020 --> 00:47:14,630
So that's picking them up, you

1503
00:47:14,630 --> 00:47:14,860
know

1504
00:47:14,860 --> 00:47:16,630
So this guy is our decoy

1505
00:47:16,630 --> 00:47:17,300
octopus

1506
00:47:17,300 --> 00:47:21,430
These guys should just leave

1507
00:47:21,430 --> 00:47:21,980
now

1508
00:47:21,980 --> 00:47:30,650
They brought us over 300

1509
00:47:30,650 --> 00:47:39,040
bottles of counterfeit Tommy

1510
00:47:39,040 --> 00:47:41,780
CKB and Chanel No. 5

1511
00:47:41,780 --> 00:47:42,910
Keen to conclude the

1512
00:47:42,910 --> 00:47:44,060
transaction quickly

1513
00:47:44,060 --> 00:47:45,320
And load our vehicle

1514
00:47:45,320 --> 00:47:47,040
Counterfeit Tommy

1515
00:47:47,040 --> 00:47:51,360
But we brought along with us

1516
00:47:51,360 --> 00:47:53,000
Gary Cullymore and a colleague

1517
00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:54,360
From Westminster Trading

1518
00:47:54,360 --> 00:47:54,940
Standards

1519
00:47:54,940 --> 00:47:55,420
Lovely

1520
00:47:55,420 --> 00:47:56,720
Neither of the crooks feels

1521
00:47:56,720 --> 00:47:57,500
like hanging around

1522
00:47:57,500 --> 00:47:59,640
Oh yeah, that's so fast

1523
00:47:59,640 --> 00:48:00,740
For a chat

1524
00:48:00,740 --> 00:48:04,220
So fast

1525
00:48:04,220 --> 00:48:05,940
So fast

1526
00:48:05,940 --> 00:48:07,320
So real

1527
00:48:07,320 --> 00:48:08,580
California

1528
00:48:08,580 --> 00:48:10,840
But we brought along with us

1529
00:48:10,840 --> 00:48:18,480
Gary Cullymore and a colleague

1530
00:48:18,480 --> 00:48:19,860
From Westminster Trading

1531
00:48:19,860 --> 00:48:20,440
Standards

1532
00:48:20,440 --> 00:48:21,700
Neither of the crooks

1533
00:48:21,700 --> 00:48:26,920
Good luck

1534
00:48:26,920 --> 00:48:29,820
See you later, let's

1535
00:48:29,820 --> 00:48:33,400
Leaves all the product behind

1536
00:48:33,400 --> 00:48:35,300
All the money is gone now

1537
00:48:35,300 --> 00:48:37,720
See you later, man

1538
00:48:37,720 --> 00:48:38,770
I'm going to go to the next

1539
00:48:38,770 --> 00:48:41,100
door, man

1540
00:48:41,100 --> 00:48:42,750
I'm going to go to the next

1541
00:48:42,750 --> 00:48:43,100
door, man

1542
00:48:43,100 --> 00:48:43,100
I'm going to go to the next

1543
00:48:43,100 --> 00:48:43,100
door, man

1544
00:48:43,100 --> 00:48:43,760
I'm going to go to the next

1545
00:48:43,760 --> 00:48:44,100
door, man

1546
00:48:44,100 --> 00:48:44,760
I'm going to go to the next

1547
00:48:44,760 --> 00:48:45,100
door, man

1548
00:48:45,100 --> 00:48:45,760
I'm going to go to the next

1549
00:48:45,760 --> 00:48:46,100
door, man

1550
00:48:46,100 --> 00:48:46,760
I'm going to go to the next

1551
00:48:46,760 --> 00:48:47,100
door, man

1552
00:48:47,100 --> 00:48:47,760
I'm going to go to the next

1553
00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:48,100
door, man

1554
00:48:48,100 --> 00:48:48,100
I'm going to go to the next

1555
00:48:48,100 --> 00:48:48,100
door, man

1556
00:48:48,100 --> 00:48:48,760
I'm going to go to the next

1557
00:48:48,760 --> 00:48:49,100
door, man

1558
00:48:49,100 --> 00:48:49,760
I'm going to go to the next

1559
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:50,100
door, man

1560
00:48:50,100 --> 00:48:50,760
I'm going to go to the next

1561
00:48:50,760 --> 00:48:51,100
door, man

1562
00:48:51,100 --> 00:48:51,760
I'm going to go to the next

1563
00:48:51,760 --> 00:48:52,100
door, man

1564
00:48:52,100 --> 00:48:52,760
I'm going to go to the next

1565
00:48:52,760 --> 00:48:53,100
door, man

1566
00:48:53,100 --> 00:48:53,760
I'm going to go to the next

1567
00:48:53,760 --> 00:48:54,100
door, man

1568
00:48:54,100 --> 00:48:54,100
I'm going to go to the next

1569
00:48:54,100 --> 00:48:54,100
door, man

1570
00:48:54,100 --> 00:49:08,340
I'm going to go to the next

1571
00:49:08,340 --> 00:49:14,480
door, man

1572
00:49:14,480 --> 00:49:15,720
Chat

1573
00:49:15,720 --> 00:49:17,380
Chat, right there

1574
00:49:17,380 --> 00:49:24,930
Is there another fellow in the

1575
00:49:24,930 --> 00:49:27,840
truck that says chicks on it?

1576
00:49:27,840 --> 00:49:28,800
I don't know what that means

1577
00:49:28,800 --> 00:49:30,100
They've left the car behind and

1578
00:49:30,100 --> 00:49:30,940
everything, look

1579
00:49:30,940 --> 00:49:35,620
Oh, it says hicks

1580
00:49:35,620 --> 00:49:36,820
I thought it said chicks

1581
00:49:36,820 --> 00:50:06,800
*music*

1582
00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:13,800
*music*

1583
00:50:13,800 --> 00:50:27,800
*music*

1584
00:50:27,800 --> 00:50:29,420
Looks like Larry Magids from

1585
00:50:29,420 --> 00:50:31,160
Computer Chronicles, bit of a

1586
00:50:31,160 --> 00:50:33,040
crossover reference there. I

1587
00:50:33,040 --> 00:50:34,540
don't think too many people

1588
00:50:34,540 --> 00:50:35,800
really would be aware.

1589
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:39,020
But it's like a kind of... an

1590
00:50:39,020 --> 00:50:40,800
English maggots.

1591
00:50:40,800 --> 00:50:42,420
Identities we're not absolutely

1592
00:50:42,420 --> 00:50:43,840
sure of, but they're known to

1593
00:50:43,840 --> 00:50:45,280
us as street traders on Oxford

1594
00:50:45,280 --> 00:50:45,800
Street.

1595
00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:47,170
Who are involved themselves not

1596
00:50:47,170 --> 00:50:48,390
only in the distribution and

1597
00:50:48,390 --> 00:50:49,800
supply of Count Dook Perfume,

1598
00:50:49,800 --> 00:50:51,660
but also sell it themselves on

1599
00:50:51,660 --> 00:50:52,800
Oxford Street.

1600
00:50:52,800 --> 00:50:53,800
*music*

1601
00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:55,640
Street value about three and a

1602
00:50:55,640 --> 00:50:56,800
half thousand.

1603
00:50:56,800 --> 00:51:00,800
*music*

1604
00:51:00,800 --> 00:51:12,800
*music*

1605
00:51:12,800 --> 00:51:13,800
*music*

1606
00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:14,800
*music*

1607
00:51:14,800 --> 00:51:15,800
*music*

1608
00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:16,800
*music*

1609
00:51:16,800 --> 00:51:17,800
*music*

1610
00:51:17,800 --> 00:51:18,800
*music*

1611
00:51:18,800 --> 00:51:19,800
*music*

1612
00:51:19,800 --> 00:51:20,800
*music*

1613
00:51:20,800 --> 00:51:21,800
*music*

1614
00:51:21,800 --> 00:51:22,800
*music*

1615
00:51:22,800 --> 00:51:23,800
*music*

1616
00:51:23,800 --> 00:51:24,800
*music*

1617
00:51:24,800 --> 00:51:25,800
*music*

1618
00:51:25,800 --> 00:51:26,800
*music*

1619
00:51:26,800 --> 00:51:27,800
*music*

1620
00:51:27,800 --> 00:51:28,800
*music*

1621
00:51:28,800 --> 00:51:29,800
*music*

1622
00:51:29,800 --> 00:51:30,800
*music*

1623
00:51:30,800 --> 00:51:31,800
*music*

1624
00:51:31,800 --> 00:51:32,800
*music*

1625
00:51:32,800 --> 00:51:33,800
*music*

1626
00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:34,800
*music*

1627
00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:35,800
*music*

1628
00:51:35,800 --> 00:51:38,720
Not assaulting him or anything

1629
00:51:38,720 --> 00:51:41,800
he's just a barrier you know.

1630
00:51:45,800 --> 00:51:47,800
A shoulder man.

1631
00:51:47,800 --> 00:51:49,420
We've been watching you for

1632
00:51:49,420 --> 00:51:49,800
weeks.

1633
00:51:49,800 --> 00:51:51,800
We've been watching you.

1634
00:51:51,800 --> 00:51:54,540
And the scared shoppers as they're

1635
00:51:54,540 --> 00:51:56,800
being barged out the way.

1636
00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:02,800
Great style on that fella.

1637
00:52:02,800 --> 00:52:05,800
In the midst of all the chaos.

1638
00:52:05,800 --> 00:52:07,800
Look at this fella.

1639
00:52:07,800 --> 00:52:09,800
Great style.

1640
00:52:09,800 --> 00:52:11,800
Great style.

1641
00:52:14,800 --> 00:52:17,800
And that's dexterous.

1642
00:52:17,800 --> 00:52:19,800
Movement there.

1643
00:52:19,800 --> 00:52:22,800
Very agile movement.

1644
00:52:22,800 --> 00:52:24,800
And look at the action.

1645
00:52:24,800 --> 00:52:25,800
Smooth as you like.

1646
00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:27,800
That vault.

1647
00:52:27,800 --> 00:52:30,800
Top shop.

1648
00:52:30,800 --> 00:52:31,800
Boom.

1649
00:52:31,800 --> 00:52:34,050
That hand doing a lot of the

1650
00:52:34,050 --> 00:52:34,800
work.

1651
00:52:34,800 --> 00:52:36,800
It's used as a lever.

1652
00:52:36,800 --> 00:52:38,800
And a vault.

1653
00:52:38,800 --> 00:52:39,800
Device.

1654
00:52:39,800 --> 00:52:40,800
It's like a vaulting lever.

1655
00:52:40,800 --> 00:52:42,800
It offers security.

1656
00:52:42,800 --> 00:52:44,800
Stability.

1657
00:52:44,800 --> 00:52:46,800
And.

1658
00:52:46,800 --> 00:52:47,800
Operates.

1659
00:52:47,800 --> 00:52:50,800
As the perfect launch device.

1660
00:52:50,800 --> 00:52:53,800
And jeans are an essential.

1661
00:52:53,800 --> 00:52:55,800
All round.

1662
00:52:55,800 --> 00:52:56,800
Bit of kit.

1663
00:52:56,800 --> 00:52:58,660
If you want to be out on the

1664
00:52:58,660 --> 00:53:00,800
street doing this sort of stuff.

1665
00:53:00,800 --> 00:53:01,800
The jeans.

1666
00:53:01,800 --> 00:53:03,710
Give you that sort of freedom

1667
00:53:03,710 --> 00:53:04,800
of maneuvering.

1668
00:53:04,800 --> 00:53:05,800
And movement.

1669
00:53:05,800 --> 00:53:08,440
Whilst also maintaining an air

1670
00:53:08,440 --> 00:53:09,800
of civility.

1671
00:53:09,800 --> 00:53:11,800
At the same time.

1672
00:53:11,800 --> 00:53:13,800
Bit of cover like you know.

1673
00:53:13,800 --> 00:53:14,800
And then boom.

1674
00:53:14,800 --> 00:53:16,800
Down the back.

1675
00:53:16,800 --> 00:53:18,800
Down the back of the bus.

1676
00:53:18,800 --> 00:53:19,800
He can run.

1677
00:53:19,800 --> 00:53:20,800
But he can't hide.

1678
00:53:20,800 --> 00:53:21,800
That's nice.

1679
00:53:21,800 --> 00:53:22,800
But he can't hide.

1680
00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:23,800
It's lovely stuff.

1681
00:53:23,800 --> 00:53:24,800
It really is.

1682
00:53:24,800 --> 00:53:25,800
But he can't hide.

1683
00:53:25,800 --> 00:53:26,800
But he can't hide.

1684
00:53:26,800 --> 00:53:29,040
It's lovely stuff, it really is.

1685
00:53:47,520 --> 00:53:48,560
But he can't hide.

1686
00:53:48,560 --> 00:53:52,040
La la la la.

1687
00:53:52,040 --> 00:53:54,290
Here's the one who's driving me

1688
00:53:54,290 --> 00:53:55,040
by son.

1689
00:53:55,720 --> 00:53:57,950
Why do only fours and horses

1690
00:53:57,950 --> 00:53:58,880
work?

1691
00:53:59,100 --> 00:54:00,060
La la la la.

1692
00:54:00,060 --> 00:54:01,850
At the end of the day, our Delboy

1693
00:54:01,850 --> 00:54:03,570
and Rodney could have moved out

1694
00:54:03,570 --> 00:54:05,600
of Hookie Street into Millionaire's

1695
00:54:05,600 --> 00:54:06,080
Row.

1696
00:54:06,520 --> 00:54:08,610
They've taken orders of over 1.3

1697
00:54:08,610 --> 00:54:09,900
million pounds.

1698
00:54:10,000 --> 00:54:10,360
Unreal.

1699
00:54:10,360 --> 00:54:16,370
But we've not just been selling,

1700
00:54:16,370 --> 00:54:20,300
we've been buying.

1701
00:54:20,840 --> 00:54:21,910
And back in Leicester, our

1702
00:54:21,910 --> 00:54:24,040
order of fake designer sportswear

1703
00:54:24,040 --> 00:54:25,020
is ready for collection.

1704
00:54:25,020 --> 00:54:25,750
Thank you very much, Sir Marcelino's

1705
00:54:25,750 --> 00:54:26,020
Bodega.

1706
00:54:26,020 --> 00:54:27,840
Mr Singh is proud of his Adidas

1707
00:54:27,840 --> 00:54:28,600
rip-off.

1708
00:54:29,080 --> 00:54:31,360
He's made 157 in red, black and

1709
00:54:31,360 --> 00:54:32,020
grey.

1710
00:54:36,280 --> 00:54:36,920
Then he shows us our umbro, indistinguishable

1711
00:54:36,920 --> 00:54:39,360
from the real thing.

1712
00:54:39,360 --> 00:54:41,020
Because you know, like you hear

1713
00:54:41,020 --> 00:54:42,310
about a lot of kind of bent

1714
00:54:42,310 --> 00:54:43,860
cops when they do the sting

1715
00:54:43,860 --> 00:54:44,480
operations,

1716
00:54:44,480 --> 00:54:46,780
like the drugs go missing or

1717
00:54:46,780 --> 00:54:49,220
the product goes missing.

1718
00:54:49,520 --> 00:54:50,830
I wonder, did they have the

1719
00:54:50,830 --> 00:54:52,450
blessing of the police to do

1720
00:54:52,450 --> 00:54:53,580
all this stuff?

1721
00:54:55,460 --> 00:54:56,140
You know, they would have had

1722
00:54:56,140 --> 00:54:58,590
their hands on either a lot of

1723
00:54:58,590 --> 00:55:00,880
money or a lot of goods and

1724
00:55:00,880 --> 00:55:01,520
stuff like that.

1725
00:55:01,560 --> 00:55:03,180
I wouldn't be surprised now if

1726
00:55:03,180 --> 00:55:05,070
this is like, you know, fucking

1727
00:55:05,070 --> 00:55:06,620
over 30 years ago.

1728
00:55:06,620 --> 00:55:08,510
And the odd box might have just

1729
00:55:08,510 --> 00:55:10,330
gone missing or, you know,

1730
00:55:10,330 --> 00:55:12,230
something fell off the back of

1731
00:55:12,230 --> 00:55:14,260
a lorry into one of the cars.

1732
00:55:14,260 --> 00:55:15,380
And when the lad's making the

1733
00:55:15,380 --> 00:55:16,690
fucking thing, you know, it has

1734
00:55:16,690 --> 00:55:17,580
to have happened.

1735
00:55:17,580 --> 00:55:18,700
I see, you know.

1736
00:55:20,620 --> 00:55:21,660
Sam is busy today.

1737
00:55:22,060 --> 00:55:23,220
Yeah, it's working.

1738
00:55:27,000 --> 00:55:28,520
Lovely creak on that as well.

1739
00:55:28,520 --> 00:55:29,900
You don't want to hear that creak

1740
00:55:29,900 --> 00:55:31,120
when you're in the middle of a

1741
00:55:31,120 --> 00:55:32,820
fucking counterfeit operation.

1742
00:55:33,180 --> 00:55:34,420
Yeah, it's working.

1743
00:55:39,280 --> 00:55:39,960
It's working.

1744
00:55:44,760 --> 00:55:51,290
Mr. and Mrs. Singh, Roger Cook,

1745
00:55:51,290 --> 00:55:55,460
Central Television.

1746
00:55:57,400 --> 00:55:58,980
Mr. and Mrs. Singh, Roger Cook,

1747
00:55:58,980 --> 00:56:01,260
Central Television.

1748
00:56:01,940 --> 00:56:02,690
So this is where you make your

1749
00:56:02,690 --> 00:56:04,200
counterfeit goods, is it?

1750
00:56:04,400 --> 00:56:05,120
Sorry?

1751
00:56:05,340 --> 00:56:06,560
This is where you make your

1752
00:56:06,560 --> 00:56:07,580
counterfeit goods.

1753
00:56:09,500 --> 00:56:09,880
The Umbro goods that we, or our

1754
00:56:09,880 --> 00:56:12,190
undercover man, ordered from

1755
00:56:12,190 --> 00:56:12,800
you.

1756
00:56:13,620 --> 00:56:15,940
These are all counterfeit goods.

1757
00:56:16,900 --> 00:56:18,360
You're breaking the law, aren't

1758
00:56:18,360 --> 00:56:18,720
you?

1759
00:56:18,720 --> 00:56:19,940
Yeah, I don't know.

1760
00:56:19,940 --> 00:56:20,440
I don't know.

1761
00:56:20,440 --> 00:56:21,880
You do know.

1762
00:56:22,140 --> 00:56:23,180
Listen, you're making yourself

1763
00:56:23,180 --> 00:56:24,200
look extremely silly.

1764
00:56:24,680 --> 00:56:25,830
Because we've been filming you

1765
00:56:25,830 --> 00:56:26,740
for some time.

1766
00:56:26,980 --> 00:56:28,760
And you admit, on film we

1767
00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:31,080
already have, that you know

1768
00:56:31,080 --> 00:56:32,240
this is illegal.

1769
00:56:32,500 --> 00:56:34,220
These are snide goods.

1770
00:56:35,400 --> 00:56:36,140
Bit of snide.

1771
00:56:36,780 --> 00:56:38,070
Nothing wrong with a bit of snide,

1772
00:56:38,070 --> 00:56:39,420
every now and again.

1773
00:56:40,100 --> 00:56:41,660
We've all done a bit of snide.

1774
00:56:43,100 --> 00:56:43,440
The law.

1775
00:56:44,680 --> 00:56:45,980
And they're quality, quality

1776
00:56:45,980 --> 00:56:47,500
pieces as well.

1777
00:56:49,820 --> 00:56:50,340
Shitstoppers, I used to call

1778
00:56:50,340 --> 00:56:51,080
them.

1779
00:56:51,160 --> 00:56:53,590
Because they had the kind of

1780
00:56:53,590 --> 00:56:56,310
elasticated bit on the ankle,

1781
00:56:56,310 --> 00:56:57,400
you know.

1782
00:56:57,600 --> 00:56:59,170
That would really be tight on

1783
00:56:59,170 --> 00:57:00,020
the ankle.

1784
00:57:01,480 --> 00:57:01,920
Umbro.

1785
00:57:02,880 --> 00:57:03,140
The law.

1786
00:57:03,220 --> 00:57:06,040
You already have, that you know

1787
00:57:06,040 --> 00:57:07,820
this is illegal.

1788
00:57:08,080 --> 00:57:09,780
These are snide goods.

1789
00:57:12,240 --> 00:57:13,460
There it is, Bank's rights.

1790
00:57:13,780 --> 00:57:14,760
At least they're not like the

1791
00:57:14,760 --> 00:57:16,320
others, running away from it.

1792
00:57:16,380 --> 00:57:17,900
They're just taking the

1793
00:57:17,900 --> 00:57:20,600
punishment, the Roger Cookishment.

1794
00:57:20,880 --> 00:57:22,200
Back on the rain-soaked

1795
00:57:22,200 --> 00:57:24,210
Scottish coast, our tasty deal

1796
00:57:24,210 --> 00:57:26,360
with the Campbells is coming to

1797
00:57:26,360 --> 00:57:26,780
the boil.

1798
00:57:26,920 --> 00:57:29,020
The colourful language is, it's

1799
00:57:29,020 --> 00:57:31,160
real nice tabloid shit like.

1800
00:57:31,700 --> 00:57:32,780
Soaked Scottish co-

1801
00:57:32,780 --> 00:57:34,880
BELLS.

1802
00:57:37,760 --> 00:57:37,830
Back on the rain-soaked

1803
00:57:37,830 --> 00:57:40,990
Scottish coast, our tasty deal

1804
00:57:40,990 --> 00:57:44,370
with the Campbells is coming to

1805
00:57:44,370 --> 00:57:45,740
the boil.

1806
00:57:46,320 --> 00:57:47,120
Lovely stuff.

1807
00:57:47,240 --> 00:57:48,320
And they keep on doing the

1808
00:57:48,320 --> 00:57:49,920
whole Campbells, like the soup.

1809
00:57:50,220 --> 00:57:51,640
It's a tasty deal.

1810
00:57:52,340 --> 00:57:52,800
Don't boil.

1811
00:57:52,840 --> 00:57:54,530
I don't know why you'd boil the

1812
00:57:54,530 --> 00:57:56,300
Campbells condensed soup.

1813
00:57:56,380 --> 00:57:57,480
You'd never let it boil.

1814
00:57:57,640 --> 00:57:59,010
You bring it to the boil, but

1815
00:57:59,010 --> 00:57:59,940
don't let it boil.

1816
00:58:00,720 --> 00:58:02,220
But I mean, he's using these.

1817
00:58:02,300 --> 00:58:03,940
It's a real nice, it's very

1818
00:58:03,940 --> 00:58:05,140
rich language.

1819
00:58:05,900 --> 00:58:06,140
Rich reportage.

1820
00:58:06,140 --> 00:58:07,620
Rich reportage.

1821
00:58:07,700 --> 00:58:08,580
Scottish coast.

1822
00:58:09,280 --> 00:58:09,970
Our tasty deal with the

1823
00:58:09,970 --> 00:58:12,140
Campbells is coming to the boil.

1824
00:58:15,140 --> 00:58:16,980
What do you need now, Ron?

1825
00:58:18,980 --> 00:58:19,640
David Campbell is satisfied

1826
00:58:19,640 --> 00:58:22,000
with our goods and tells-

1827
00:58:22,000 --> 00:58:23,620
A taste you can trust.

1828
00:58:23,800 --> 00:58:25,570
...tells his money man to finalise

1829
00:58:25,570 --> 00:58:26,180
the deal.

1830
00:58:27,200 --> 00:58:27,930
Our hidden camera catches him

1831
00:58:27,930 --> 00:58:30,540
counting out the 25,000 pounds

1832
00:58:30,540 --> 00:58:32,320
he's brought to settle up.

1833
00:58:32,320 --> 00:58:34,920
I want to have him first.

1834
00:58:35,980 --> 00:58:36,780
Who have you in the head?

1835
00:58:36,780 --> 00:58:37,300
My wife.

1836
00:58:37,480 --> 00:58:40,100
The Campbells earning a few croutons.

1837
00:58:40,760 --> 00:58:42,400
Tastes like savings.

1838
00:58:49,780 --> 00:58:51,700
How depressing it is, whether I...

1839
00:58:51,700 --> 00:58:53,050
One of their two vans is backed

1840
00:58:53,050 --> 00:58:54,140
up for the exchange.

1841
00:58:55,820 --> 00:58:57,180
Great shots, in fairness.

1842
00:58:57,680 --> 00:58:58,920
We need some more...

1843
00:58:58,920 --> 00:59:00,300
We need TV programmes to get

1844
00:59:00,300 --> 00:59:01,890
back to this as well, because I've

1845
00:59:01,890 --> 00:59:02,680
seen there...

1846
00:59:02,680 --> 00:59:04,390
Obviously, there's a lot made

1847
00:59:04,390 --> 00:59:06,300
about the whole Netflix deal

1848
00:59:06,300 --> 00:59:07,420
there during the week.

1849
00:59:08,360 --> 00:59:08,700
And...

1850
00:59:08,700 --> 00:59:09,580
But a lot of those

1851
00:59:09,580 --> 00:59:11,460
documentaries, like...

1852
00:59:11,460 --> 00:59:12,500
Yeah, they're polished and they

1853
00:59:12,500 --> 00:59:13,000
have...

1854
00:59:13,000 --> 00:59:14,460
They've got great style.

1855
00:59:14,820 --> 00:59:15,940
But where's the meat and

1856
00:59:15,940 --> 00:59:16,940
fucking veg?

1857
00:59:17,100 --> 00:59:17,760
Like, where's the...

1858
00:59:17,760 --> 00:59:19,370
Where's the stuff like this

1859
00:59:19,370 --> 00:59:21,260
where a fucking deal...

1860
00:59:21,260 --> 00:59:23,760
A van is being slowly reversed

1861
00:59:23,760 --> 00:59:26,640
to meet another bigger van in

1862
00:59:26,640 --> 00:59:28,640
fucking Stranraa or Larn or

1863
00:59:28,640 --> 00:59:31,120
whatever the fuck it is.

1864
00:59:31,120 --> 00:59:32,020
...act up for the exchange.

1865
00:59:32,180 --> 00:59:33,380
With these kind of fellas, you

1866
00:59:33,380 --> 00:59:33,800
know.

1867
00:59:35,420 --> 00:59:36,210
And the first of the boxes of

1868
00:59:36,210 --> 00:59:38,580
bent gear are unloaded.

1869
00:59:38,800 --> 00:59:39,500
Bent gear.

1870
00:59:40,780 --> 00:59:41,970
But the Campbells will be going

1871
00:59:41,970 --> 00:59:43,780
home empty-handed.

1872
00:59:43,780 --> 00:59:45,280
It's going to be a soup fun, no?

1873
00:59:45,440 --> 00:59:45,820
...handed.

1874
00:59:46,100 --> 00:59:46,620
Empty-handed.

1875
00:59:46,620 --> 00:59:49,600
Here he is.

1876
00:59:50,160 --> 00:59:50,860
Here he is.

1877
00:59:50,960 --> 00:59:51,520
This is the...

1878
00:59:51,520 --> 00:59:52,140
This is what we've...

1879
00:59:52,140 --> 00:59:53,460
These are the big shots.

1880
00:59:54,080 --> 00:59:55,300
These are the big pieces.

1881
00:59:55,680 --> 00:59:57,020
So we've had three Rogers.

1882
00:59:58,100 --> 00:59:58,740
Or...

1883
00:59:58,740 --> 01:00:00,400
This is Roger number four.

1884
01:00:00,720 --> 01:00:01,380
In this one.

1885
01:00:01,860 --> 01:00:03,200
This is where he gets launched

1886
01:00:03,200 --> 01:00:04,660
out of his Roger box.

1887
01:00:05,340 --> 01:00:06,920
To Roger the baddies.

1888
01:00:07,480 --> 01:00:07,980
With his...

1889
01:00:07,980 --> 01:00:09,160
Uh...

1890
01:00:09,160 --> 01:00:09,820
Repertage.

1891
01:00:09,900 --> 01:00:11,340
His doorstep manoeuvring.

1892
01:00:11,680 --> 01:00:12,000
Empty.

1893
01:00:12,780 --> 01:00:13,480
That's why you always gotta

1894
01:00:13,480 --> 01:00:14,740
keep your eyes open.

1895
01:00:16,260 --> 01:00:17,560
And watch your ass.

1896
01:00:18,320 --> 01:00:19,610
Thank you very much there, Yertie

1897
01:00:19,610 --> 01:00:21,340
Ahern, for the tip there.

1898
01:00:22,440 --> 01:00:23,080
Sorry there.

1899
01:00:23,400 --> 01:00:24,320
I know I keep going back, but

1900
01:00:24,320 --> 01:00:25,420
it's just beautiful.

1901
01:00:25,420 --> 01:00:27,560
Like, the exchanges of...

1902
01:00:27,560 --> 01:00:29,600
These are quality shots.

1903
01:00:30,280 --> 01:00:31,350
And it's just so real to me,

1904
01:00:31,350 --> 01:00:34,140
because the weather is so shite-like.

1905
01:00:34,280 --> 01:00:35,200
You know, especially the last

1906
01:00:35,200 --> 01:00:35,660
few days.

1907
01:00:36,120 --> 01:00:36,780
You can really...

1908
01:00:36,780 --> 01:00:38,810
And look, he looks fucking

1909
01:00:38,810 --> 01:00:39,600
frozen.

1910
01:00:40,880 --> 01:00:42,120
Big man Campbell.

1911
01:00:42,500 --> 01:00:43,460
He's well-dressed.

1912
01:00:43,960 --> 01:00:44,760
Well put together.

1913
01:00:45,380 --> 01:00:46,590
Horsing the fags into him all

1914
01:00:46,590 --> 01:00:47,100
day.

1915
01:00:47,500 --> 01:00:49,980
Counting really nice-sounding wads

1916
01:00:49,980 --> 01:00:51,520
of cash in a gaff.

1917
01:00:51,940 --> 01:00:53,320
And here is the fruit of the

1918
01:00:53,320 --> 01:00:54,080
labors.

1919
01:00:54,160 --> 01:00:55,180
This is where the real...

1920
01:00:55,940 --> 01:00:57,460
Work gets done, just here.

1921
01:00:57,980 --> 01:00:58,180
It's...

1922
01:00:58,180 --> 01:00:59,960
It's indisputable crime right

1923
01:00:59,960 --> 01:01:01,540
there with those shots.

1924
01:01:01,760 --> 01:01:03,900
We'll be going home empty-handed.

1925
01:01:06,360 --> 01:01:07,140
The raindrops on the back of

1926
01:01:07,140 --> 01:01:09,480
Roger's jacket.

1927
01:01:09,580 --> 01:01:09,740
Look.

1928
01:01:10,460 --> 01:01:11,280
It's not nice.

1929
01:01:11,340 --> 01:01:12,980
It's not a nice day at all.

1930
01:01:13,040 --> 01:01:13,600
Like...

1931
01:01:13,600 --> 01:01:15,100
And he always has that same

1932
01:01:15,100 --> 01:01:16,680
colour jacket on as well.

1933
01:01:16,820 --> 01:01:17,600
It's a trademark...

1934
01:01:18,440 --> 01:01:18,600
Cream...

1935
01:01:19,600 --> 01:01:20,840
I don't know what you call that.

1936
01:01:20,960 --> 01:01:22,280
A bomber jacket or what.

1937
01:01:27,040 --> 01:01:25,960
What are you guys doing with

1938
01:01:25,960 --> 01:01:29,400
all this hooking gear?

1939
01:01:30,120 --> 01:01:30,360
Eh?

1940
01:01:34,500 --> 01:01:35,220
Oh, fuck.

1941
01:01:35,620 --> 01:01:36,270
Sorry, I just need to go to the

1942
01:01:36,270 --> 01:01:37,000
jacks for a sec.

1943
01:01:37,000 --> 01:01:38,000
Moondust...

1944
01:01:38,000 --> 01:01:43,640
Moondust...

1945
01:01:43,640 --> 01:01:44,140
Moondust...

1946
01:01:44,140 --> 01:01:46,980
Moondust is still a problem.

1947
01:01:48,800 --> 01:01:49,640
Moondust...

1948
01:01:49,640 --> 01:01:51,140
Moondust...

1949
01:01:51,140 --> 01:01:55,140
Moondust...

1950
01:01:55,140 --> 01:01:58,140
Moondust...

1951
01:01:58,140 --> 01:02:03,780
Moondust...

1952
01:02:03,780 --> 01:02:03,780
Moondust...

1953
01:02:03,780 --> 01:02:04,780
Moondust...

1954
01:02:04,780 --> 01:02:05,780
Moondust...

1955
01:02:05,780 --> 01:02:21,260
Moondust is still a problem.

1956
01:02:22,820 --> 01:02:23,780
Moondust...

1957
01:02:23,780 --> 01:02:25,780
Moondust...

1958
01:02:25,780 --> 01:02:26,780
Moondust...

1959
01:02:26,780 --> 01:02:29,140
Moondust

1960
01:02:29,140 --> 01:02:32,000
Moondust

1961
01:02:32,000 --> 01:02:39,780
What are you guys doing?

1962
01:02:40,080 --> 01:02:40,440
Eh?

1963
01:02:40,980 --> 01:02:41,740
It's a new

1964
01:02:41,740 --> 01:02:43,240
I haven't heard that one before

1965
01:02:43,240 --> 01:02:45,560
That's the confidence

1966
01:02:45,560 --> 01:02:48,200
That Cook has in this one here

1967
01:02:48,200 --> 01:02:50,400
This is the finale sting

1968
01:02:50,400 --> 01:02:51,860
And it's also one

1969
01:02:51,860 --> 01:02:53,500
They've worked hard to achieve

1970
01:02:53,500 --> 01:02:55,340
And they've got the shot

1971
01:02:55,340 --> 01:02:56,840
It's bang to right sort of

1972
01:02:56,840 --> 01:02:57,260
stuff

1973
01:02:57,260 --> 01:02:58,060
He knows it

1974
01:02:58,060 --> 01:02:59,700
So he can really take

1975
01:02:59,700 --> 01:03:01,080
A little bit of a liberty

1976
01:03:01,080 --> 01:03:02,640
With what he usually presents

1977
01:03:02,640 --> 01:03:03,300
As kind of a

1978
01:03:03,300 --> 01:03:04,980
A more formal kind of

1979
01:03:04,980 --> 01:03:07,280
Excuse me Mr such and such

1980
01:03:07,280 --> 01:03:09,160
Or excuse me Mr Singh

1981
01:03:09,160 --> 01:03:11,560
You know

1982
01:03:11,560 --> 01:03:12,900
Have you got a moment to speak

1983
01:03:12,900 --> 01:03:13,420
with us?

1984
01:03:13,540 --> 01:03:15,100
This is just straight out of

1985
01:03:15,100 --> 01:03:15,720
the bag

1986
01:03:15,720 --> 01:03:17,420
Putting them on the back foot

1987
01:03:17,420 --> 01:03:21,240
What are you guys doing

1988
01:03:21,240 --> 01:03:22,400
With all this hooky gear?

1989
01:03:23,080 --> 01:03:23,320
Eh?

1990
01:03:24,860 --> 01:03:26,120
What are you doing with all

1991
01:03:26,120 --> 01:03:27,500
this hooky gear Mr Campbell

1992
01:03:27,500 --> 01:03:28,400
That you've just bought?

1993
01:03:30,100 --> 01:03:30,940
You've just bought

1994
01:03:30,940 --> 01:03:32,140
That's being transferred into

1995
01:03:32,140 --> 01:03:32,980
your wagon

1996
01:03:32,980 --> 01:03:34,400
What was on the dash?

1997
01:03:34,940 --> 01:03:35,780
A paper

1998
01:03:35,780 --> 01:03:40,300
And a fucking radio

1999
01:03:40,300 --> 01:03:42,180
Look at that old school pocket

2000
01:03:42,180 --> 01:03:42,580
radio

2001
01:03:42,580 --> 01:03:43,460
With the antenna

2002
01:03:43,460 --> 01:03:46,120
AM radio

2003
01:03:46,120 --> 01:03:47,020
FM radio

2004
01:03:47,020 --> 01:03:48,620
You've just bought

2005
01:03:48,620 --> 01:03:48,640
You've just bought

2006
01:03:48,640 --> 01:03:49,460
That's being transferred

2007
01:03:49,460 --> 01:03:50,660
Into your wagon

2008
01:03:50,660 --> 01:03:52,260
You know who I am

2009
01:03:52,260 --> 01:03:52,800
I'm Roger Cook

2010
01:03:52,800 --> 01:03:53,660
From Central Television

2011
01:03:53,660 --> 01:03:54,640
You're buying

2012
01:03:54,640 --> 01:03:55,440
Hooky gear

2013
01:03:55,440 --> 01:03:56,100
You're buying

2014
01:03:56,100 --> 01:03:56,980
Counterfeit goods

2015
01:03:56,980 --> 01:03:58,220
You've offered to deal

2016
01:03:58,220 --> 01:03:59,340
In stolen cars

2017
01:03:59,340 --> 01:03:59,940
Who?

2018
01:04:00,220 --> 01:04:00,740
You have

2019
01:04:00,740 --> 01:04:01,830
We've been filming you for

2020
01:04:01,830 --> 01:04:02,160
weeks

2021
01:04:02,160 --> 01:04:03,120
I see you're retiring

2022
01:04:03,120 --> 01:04:03,540
Thank you

2023
01:04:03,540 --> 01:04:04,600
We have

2024
01:04:04,600 --> 01:04:05,560
I'm not retiring

2025
01:04:05,560 --> 01:04:06,540
You should retire

2026
01:04:06,540 --> 01:04:06,980
Get away

2027
01:04:06,980 --> 01:04:09,660
He's known at this stage

2028
01:04:09,660 --> 01:04:10,420
1997

2029
01:04:10,420 --> 01:04:12,220
Everyone knows

2030
01:04:12,220 --> 01:04:13,020
Roger Cook

2031
01:04:13,020 --> 01:04:14,840
So he's doing well

2032
01:04:14,840 --> 01:04:15,880
Is Mr Campbell

2033
01:04:15,880 --> 01:04:17,340
In maintaining an air

2034
01:04:17,340 --> 01:04:19,640
Of kind of innocence

2035
01:04:19,640 --> 01:04:20,760
In front of

2036
01:04:20,760 --> 01:04:21,800
In face of

2037
01:04:21,800 --> 01:04:22,680
You know

2038
01:04:22,680 --> 01:04:23,520
Roger Cook

2039
01:04:23,520 --> 01:04:25,220
He knows what's going on

2040
01:04:25,220 --> 01:04:26,180
Look at the amount of water

2041
01:04:26,180 --> 01:04:27,040
Like it's as if

2042
01:04:27,040 --> 01:04:27,860
There's a fucking

2043
01:04:27,860 --> 01:04:29,800
A fellow with a bucket

2044
01:04:29,800 --> 01:04:32,040
Standing there

2045
01:04:32,040 --> 01:04:33,000
Off camera

2046
01:04:33,000 --> 01:04:34,520
To kind of accentuate

2047
01:04:34,520 --> 01:04:35,180
The miserable

2048
01:04:35,180 --> 01:04:36,820
Nature of the scene

2049
01:04:36,820 --> 01:04:37,560
But it's real

2050
01:04:37,560 --> 01:04:38,100
It's all real

2051
01:04:38,100 --> 01:04:38,420
We have

2052
01:04:38,420 --> 01:04:39,360
I'm not retiring

2053
01:04:39,360 --> 01:04:40,340
You should retire

2054
01:04:40,340 --> 01:04:41,380
Get away the fuck out of that

2055
01:04:41,380 --> 01:04:42,000
That's the fuck out of that

2056
01:04:42,000 --> 01:04:42,660
That's your fucking head

2057
01:04:42,660 --> 01:04:44,080
Kiss you the fucker

2058
01:04:44,080 --> 01:04:44,920
Get the fuck

2059
01:04:44,920 --> 01:04:46,240
Open that band door

2060
01:04:46,240 --> 01:04:46,840
Come on

2061
01:04:46,840 --> 01:04:47,960
Open that

2062
01:04:47,960 --> 01:04:50,140
That's what you need

2063
01:04:50,140 --> 01:04:51,540
You need an enforcer

2064
01:04:51,540 --> 01:04:54,040
You always need an enforcer

2065
01:04:54,040 --> 01:04:54,920
Hey

2066
01:04:54,920 --> 01:04:55,600
Fuck off

2067
01:04:55,600 --> 01:04:56,460
You are

2068
01:04:56,460 --> 01:04:57,740
You've bought hooky gear

2069
01:04:57,740 --> 01:04:59,060
Fuck off you

2070
01:04:59,060 --> 01:04:59,980
You fucking gypsy

2071
01:04:59,980 --> 01:05:02,280
Get away from this

2072
01:05:02,280 --> 01:05:04,380
Accusations

2073
01:05:04,380 --> 01:05:06,540
Are being leveled

2074
01:05:06,540 --> 01:05:07,440
At the Cook Report

2075
01:05:07,440 --> 01:05:08,980
Team

2076
01:05:08,980 --> 01:05:09,500
Fuck off you

2077
01:05:09,500 --> 01:05:10,420
You fucking gypsy

2078
01:05:10,420 --> 01:05:12,700
Get away from this

2079
01:05:12,700 --> 01:05:14,840
Who are you?

2080
01:05:14,840 --> 01:05:16,340
Fuck off the fuck

2081
01:05:16,340 --> 01:05:17,900
Get away from that

2082
01:05:17,900 --> 01:05:19,060
Get away from that

2083
01:05:19,060 --> 01:05:19,060
Get away from that

2084
01:05:19,060 --> 01:05:19,460
Get away from that

2085
01:05:19,460 --> 01:05:20,460
Get away from that

2086
01:05:20,460 --> 01:05:21,060
Get away from that

2087
01:05:21,060 --> 01:05:21,940
You haven't got an answer

2088
01:05:21,940 --> 01:05:22,640
For it have you?

2089
01:05:22,640 --> 01:05:23,140
No

2090
01:05:23,140 --> 01:05:24,560
Where's he gonna go?

2091
01:05:24,560 --> 01:05:26,160
Like he walks away

2092
01:05:26,160 --> 01:05:27,660
There's nowhere to go

2093
01:05:27,660 --> 01:05:28,100
Like the

2094
01:05:28,100 --> 01:05:30,660
There's only fields

2095
01:05:30,660 --> 01:05:31,540
And rain

2096
01:05:31,540 --> 01:05:33,740
So he has to just

2097
01:05:33,740 --> 01:05:34,680
Stop

2098
01:05:34,680 --> 01:05:35,280
Realize

2099
01:05:35,280 --> 01:05:36,920
And then turn around

2100
01:05:36,920 --> 01:05:38,200
At that point

2101
01:05:38,200 --> 01:05:38,980
Right there

2102
01:05:38,980 --> 01:05:40,540
Real

2103
01:05:40,540 --> 01:05:41,860
He looks ahead of himself

2104
01:05:41,860 --> 01:05:41,860
He looks ahead of himself

2105
01:05:41,860 --> 01:05:43,580
And all he can see is just

2106
01:05:43,580 --> 01:05:45,200
Fucking fields

2107
01:05:45,200 --> 01:05:46,960
Hills and rain

2108
01:05:46,960 --> 01:05:48,280
Imagine that

2109
01:05:48,280 --> 01:05:50,180
You're trapped with Roger Cook

2110
01:05:50,180 --> 01:05:52,280
At the end of a fucking road

2111
01:05:52,280 --> 01:05:54,240
You have to turn back to him

2112
01:05:54,240 --> 01:05:54,840
And the worst

2113
01:05:54,840 --> 01:05:57,250
The worst reality is you have

2114
01:05:57,250 --> 01:05:58,420
to turn back to the crew

2115
01:05:58,420 --> 01:05:59,640
You haven't got an answer for

2116
01:05:59,640 --> 01:06:00,300
it have you?

2117
01:06:02,780 --> 01:06:03,220
What?

2118
01:06:03,220 --> 01:06:03,340
What?

2119
01:06:03,340 --> 01:06:06,580
Nowhere to run to baby

2120
01:06:06,580 --> 01:06:09,960
Nowhere to hide now

2121
01:06:09,960 --> 01:06:10,960
Oh yeah

2122
01:06:10,960 --> 01:06:13,040
What you're doing with all this

2123
01:06:13,040 --> 01:06:13,500
stuff

2124
01:06:13,500 --> 01:06:15,440
This illegal counterfeit goods

2125
01:06:15,440 --> 01:06:16,860
That you have bought from us

2126
01:06:16,860 --> 01:06:19,150
It's all been loaded into your

2127
01:06:19,150 --> 01:06:19,460
van

2128
01:06:19,460 --> 01:06:20,060
That's why

2129
01:06:20,060 --> 01:06:20,680
I've got a van

2130
01:06:20,680 --> 01:06:21,820
That's your van there

2131
01:06:21,820 --> 01:06:23,290
That's a hired van that you're

2132
01:06:23,290 --> 01:06:23,620
using

2133
01:06:23,620 --> 01:06:25,500
I think he tried to close the

2134
01:06:25,500 --> 01:06:25,840
door

2135
01:06:25,840 --> 01:06:27,280
And then did Roger open it

2136
01:06:27,280 --> 01:06:27,760
Or did he

2137
01:06:27,760 --> 01:06:30,160
It's as if Mr. Campbell

2138
01:06:30,160 --> 01:06:31,860
Opened the door for Roger again

2139
01:06:31,860 --> 01:06:34,730
Maybe to try and make himself

2140
01:06:34,730 --> 01:06:35,620
look innocent

2141
01:06:35,620 --> 01:06:36,960
And he opened the door back up

2142
01:06:36,960 --> 01:06:37,380
to Roger

2143
01:06:37,380 --> 01:06:38,520
What?

2144
01:06:39,520 --> 01:06:41,880
What you're doing with all this

2145
01:06:41,880 --> 01:06:42,460
stuff

2146
01:06:42,460 --> 01:06:43,160
This illegal

2147
01:06:43,160 --> 01:06:44,360
What's he doing?

2148
01:06:44,540 --> 01:06:45,840
Sorry there's a fella there

2149
01:06:45,840 --> 01:06:46,280
That just

2150
01:06:46,280 --> 01:06:47,560
Jumps

2151
01:06:47,560 --> 01:06:49,000
Out the front as well

2152
01:06:49,000 --> 01:06:49,260
What?

2153
01:06:50,540 --> 01:06:51,560
Watch just here

2154
01:06:51,560 --> 01:06:53,060
Counterfeit

2155
01:06:53,060 --> 01:06:53,840
Ulster

2156
01:06:53,840 --> 01:06:54,420
Thank you very much

2157
01:06:54,420 --> 01:06:54,780
What you're doing?

2158
01:06:55,080 --> 01:06:55,740
Look at that

2159
01:06:55,740 --> 01:06:58,740
What's he doing?

2160
01:06:58,860 --> 01:06:59,400
That lad look

2161
01:06:59,400 --> 01:07:03,560
You can imagine there'd be all

2162
01:07:03,560 --> 01:07:04,280
sorts of panic

2163
01:07:04,280 --> 01:07:06,990
In and around and surrounding

2164
01:07:06,990 --> 01:07:08,120
the van at the moment

2165
01:07:08,120 --> 01:07:09,540
I wish we had more angles

2166
01:07:09,540 --> 01:07:10,680
And we could be seeing what's

2167
01:07:10,680 --> 01:07:11,280
going on there

2168
01:07:11,280 --> 01:07:12,740
But we can't

2169
01:07:12,740 --> 01:07:13,820
Thank you very much there

2170
01:07:13,820 --> 01:07:16,380
Madman Marsden and Timothy Dalton

2171
01:07:16,380 --> 01:07:17,260
Thank you very much

2172
01:07:17,260 --> 01:07:18,420
With all this stuff

2173
01:07:18,420 --> 01:07:20,340
This illegal counterfeit goods

2174
01:07:20,340 --> 01:07:21,780
That you have bought from us

2175
01:07:21,780 --> 01:07:24,070
It's all been loaded into your

2176
01:07:24,070 --> 01:07:24,380
van

2177
01:07:24,380 --> 01:07:24,980
That's why

2178
01:07:24,980 --> 01:07:26,720
That's your van there

2179
01:07:26,720 --> 01:07:28,140
That's a hired van that you're

2180
01:07:28,140 --> 01:07:28,480
using

2181
01:07:28,480 --> 01:07:30,480
And we can prove everything we

2182
01:07:30,480 --> 01:07:30,740
say

2183
01:07:30,740 --> 01:07:32,660
You'll go to heaven won't you?

2184
01:07:33,040 --> 01:07:33,900
No I won't go to heaven

2185
01:07:33,900 --> 01:07:34,690
But you'll probably go the

2186
01:07:34,690 --> 01:07:35,000
other way

2187
01:07:35,000 --> 01:07:36,200
You'll go to heaven anyway

2188
01:07:36,200 --> 01:07:37,700
You'll make sure you won't

2189
01:07:37,700 --> 01:07:39,760
I'm going to heaven

2190
01:07:39,760 --> 01:07:42,020
I see you're going to assist me

2191
01:07:42,020 --> 01:07:42,680
to get there are you?

2192
01:07:42,680 --> 01:07:42,940
Oh no

2193
01:07:42,940 --> 01:07:43,500
Oh no

2194
01:07:43,500 --> 01:07:44,020
You're shat

2195
01:07:44,020 --> 01:07:44,500
Not me

2196
01:07:44,500 --> 01:07:46,080
Bit of shat

2197
01:07:46,080 --> 01:07:47,760
Gang had no real answers

2198
01:07:47,760 --> 01:07:49,540
Was it a kind of a veiled

2199
01:07:49,540 --> 01:07:50,540
threat?

2200
01:07:50,640 --> 01:07:51,820
Was it like you're going to go

2201
01:07:51,820 --> 01:07:52,200
to heaven

2202
01:07:52,200 --> 01:07:54,120
Or all nice guys go to heaven?

2203
01:07:54,240 --> 01:07:54,400
Hey

2204
01:07:54,400 --> 01:07:56,340
You'll go to heaven soon enough

2205
01:07:56,340 --> 01:07:59,780
I don't know whether or not

2206
01:07:59,780 --> 01:08:00,820
He was being

2207
01:08:00,820 --> 01:08:02,100
Because he was being nice and

2208
01:08:02,100 --> 01:08:02,460
smiley

2209
01:08:02,460 --> 01:08:03,060
When he said it

2210
01:08:03,060 --> 01:08:03,720
So I can't

2211
01:08:03,720 --> 01:08:04,810
I don't know whether or not it

2212
01:08:04,810 --> 01:08:05,380
was a threat

2213
01:08:05,380 --> 01:08:07,260
Or was it a fucking

2214
01:08:07,260 --> 01:08:08,920
A bit of

2215
01:08:08,920 --> 01:08:09,740
A bit of crack

2216
01:08:09,740 --> 01:08:10,720
Was he just having a bit of

2217
01:08:10,720 --> 01:08:11,540
crack with it like

2218
01:08:11,540 --> 01:08:13,450
And what's the name of that

2219
01:08:13,450 --> 01:08:14,520
song by the way

2220
01:08:14,520 --> 01:08:15,440
The one that goes

2221
01:08:15,440 --> 01:08:18,420
Nowhere to run to baby

2222
01:08:18,420 --> 01:08:21,260
Nowhere to hide now

2223
01:08:21,260 --> 01:08:22,920
Is it just called nowhere to

2224
01:08:22,920 --> 01:08:23,200
hide

2225
01:08:23,200 --> 01:08:24,560
Or nowhere to run is it?

2226
01:08:26,360 --> 01:08:26,920
Nowhere

2227
01:08:26,920 --> 01:08:28,480
To

2228
01:08:28,480 --> 01:08:29,620
Run

2229
01:08:29,620 --> 01:08:32,120
It's like a Motown is it?

2230
01:08:32,280 --> 01:08:32,560
Or a

2231
01:08:32,560 --> 01:08:37,120
Martha Reeves and the Vandellas

2232
01:08:37,120 --> 01:08:41,830
Sorry I believe it's not too

2233
01:08:41,830 --> 01:08:42,360
loud here

2234
01:08:42,360 --> 01:08:44,360
you

2235
01:08:44,360 --> 01:08:46,360
you

2236
01:08:46,360 --> 01:08:48,360
you

2237
01:08:48,360 --> 01:08:50,360
you

2238
01:08:50,360 --> 01:08:52,360
you

2239
01:08:52,360 --> 01:08:53,360
f*ck

2240
01:08:53,360 --> 01:08:54,360
stop

2241
01:08:54,360 --> 01:08:55,360
b*ck

2242
01:08:55,360 --> 01:08:56,360
oh

2243
01:08:56,360 --> 01:08:57,360
oh

2244
01:09:17,360 --> 01:09:18,360
you haven't gone

2245
01:09:18,360 --> 01:09:20,360
nowhere to hide

2246
01:09:22,360 --> 01:09:24,360
got nowhere to run

2247
01:09:24,360 --> 01:09:25,360
baby

2248
01:09:25,360 --> 01:09:27,360
nowhere to hide

2249
01:09:29,360 --> 01:09:32,360
i know you're no good for me

2250
01:09:32,360 --> 01:09:35,360
for three of you i'll never be

2251
01:09:36,360 --> 01:09:37,360
for it have you

2252
01:09:37,360 --> 01:09:38,240
the bloke can go to heaven but

2253
01:09:38,240 --> 01:09:39,140
you'll probably go the other

2254
01:09:39,140 --> 01:09:39,360
way

2255
01:09:39,360 --> 01:09:40,360
you'll probably

2256
01:09:40,360 --> 01:09:42,360
someone says nowhere to snide

2257
01:09:43,360 --> 01:09:44,360
uh glenn

2258
01:09:44,360 --> 01:09:46,360
very good pun there from glenn

2259
01:09:46,360 --> 01:09:49,360
nowhere to run to baby

2260
01:09:49,360 --> 01:09:52,360
nowhere to snide now honey

2261
01:09:52,360 --> 01:09:55,360
oh baby

2262
01:09:55,360 --> 01:09:56,360
oh

2263
01:09:56,360 --> 01:09:57,360
oh

2264
01:09:57,360 --> 01:09:58,360
oh

2265
01:09:58,360 --> 01:09:59,360
oh

2266
01:09:59,360 --> 01:10:00,360
gotta love the motown hits

2267
01:10:00,360 --> 01:10:02,230
and we can prove everything we

2268
01:10:02,230 --> 01:10:02,360
say

2269
01:10:02,360 --> 01:10:04,070
goody goody you'll go to heaven

2270
01:10:04,070 --> 01:10:04,360
won't you

2271
01:10:04,360 --> 01:10:05,440
no i won't go to heaven but you'll

2272
01:10:05,440 --> 01:10:06,360
probably go the other way

2273
01:10:06,360 --> 01:10:07,110
you'll go to f*ckin heaven

2274
01:10:07,110 --> 01:10:07,360
anyway

2275
01:10:07,360 --> 01:10:08,360
oh

2276
01:10:08,360 --> 01:10:09,360
you make sure you will

2277
01:10:09,360 --> 01:10:10,360
oh

2278
01:10:10,360 --> 01:10:11,360
you make

2279
01:10:11,360 --> 01:10:12,360
you make

2280
01:10:12,360 --> 01:10:14,030
did they say we make sure you

2281
01:10:14,030 --> 01:10:15,360
will or you make sure you will

2282
01:10:15,360 --> 01:10:16,360
it's real uh

2283
01:10:16,360 --> 01:10:17,360
it's

2284
01:10:17,360 --> 01:10:18,360
it's

2285
01:10:18,360 --> 01:10:20,560
it's a heavy heavy buzz it's a

2286
01:10:20,560 --> 01:10:21,360
heavy blow like

2287
01:10:21,360 --> 01:10:23,360
you make sure you will

2288
01:10:23,360 --> 01:10:24,360
you make sure you will

2289
01:10:24,360 --> 01:10:25,360
you make sure you will

2290
01:10:25,360 --> 01:10:26,360
you make sure you will

2291
01:10:26,360 --> 01:10:27,360
you make sure you will

2292
01:10:27,360 --> 01:10:28,360
panic banter

2293
01:10:28,360 --> 01:10:29,360
panic banter

2294
01:10:29,360 --> 01:10:30,360
i'm going to heaven

2295
01:10:30,360 --> 01:10:31,360
oh nice guys what are you

2296
01:10:31,360 --> 01:10:31,360
having

2297
01:10:31,360 --> 01:10:32,360
i see you're gonna assist me to

2298
01:10:32,360 --> 01:10:33,750
the rain is just making it even

2299
01:10:33,750 --> 01:10:34,360
more creepy

2300
01:10:34,360 --> 01:10:35,750
the rain is just making it even

2301
01:10:35,750 --> 01:10:36,360
more creepy

2302
01:10:36,360 --> 01:10:37,750
the rain is just making it even

2303
01:10:37,750 --> 01:10:38,360
more creepy

2304
01:10:38,360 --> 01:10:39,030
the rain is just making it even

2305
01:10:39,030 --> 01:10:39,360
more creepy

2306
01:10:39,360 --> 01:10:40,750
the rain is just making it even

2307
01:10:40,750 --> 01:10:41,360
more creepy

2308
01:10:41,360 --> 01:10:42,750
the rain is just making it even

2309
01:10:42,750 --> 01:10:43,360
more creepy

2310
01:10:43,360 --> 01:10:44,750
the rain is just making it even

2311
01:10:44,750 --> 01:10:45,360
more creepy

2312
01:10:45,360 --> 01:10:46,750
the rain is just making it even

2313
01:10:46,750 --> 01:10:47,360
more creepy

2314
01:10:47,360 --> 01:10:48,040
the rain is just making it even

2315
01:10:48,040 --> 01:10:48,360
more creepy

2316
01:10:48,360 --> 01:10:49,040
the rain is just making it even

2317
01:10:49,040 --> 01:10:49,360
more creepy

2318
01:10:49,360 --> 01:10:50,760
the rain is just making it even

2319
01:10:50,760 --> 01:10:51,360
more creepy

2320
01:10:51,360 --> 01:10:52,040
the rain is just making it even

2321
01:10:52,040 --> 01:10:52,360
more creepy

2322
01:10:52,360 --> 01:10:53,040
the rain is just making it even

2323
01:10:53,040 --> 01:10:53,360
more creepy

2324
01:10:53,360 --> 01:10:54,040
the rain is just making it even

2325
01:10:54,040 --> 01:10:54,360
more creepy

2326
01:10:54,360 --> 01:10:55,040
the rain is just making it even

2327
01:10:55,040 --> 01:10:55,360
more creepy

2328
01:10:55,360 --> 01:10:56,040
the rain is just making it even

2329
01:10:56,040 --> 01:10:56,360
more creepy

2330
01:10:56,360 --> 01:10:57,040
the rain is just making it even

2331
01:10:57,040 --> 01:10:57,360
more creepy

2332
01:10:57,360 --> 01:10:58,040
the rain is just making it even

2333
01:10:58,040 --> 01:10:58,360
more creepy

2334
01:10:58,360 --> 01:10:59,040
the rain is just making it even

2335
01:10:59,040 --> 01:10:59,360
more creepy

2336
01:10:59,360 --> 01:11:00,100
the rain is just making it even

2337
01:11:00,100 --> 01:11:00,360
more creepy

2338
01:11:00,360 --> 01:11:01,040
the rain is just making it even

2339
01:11:01,040 --> 01:11:01,360
more creepy

2340
01:11:01,360 --> 01:11:08,360
the rain is just fucking hammering

2341
01:11:08,360 --> 01:11:12,360
that's his van that's his truck

2342
01:11:12,360 --> 01:11:14,360
where's he gonna go from here?

2343
01:11:14,360 --> 01:11:15,360
the rain is just fucking hammering

2344
01:11:15,360 --> 01:11:16,360
that's his van that's his truck

2345
01:11:16,360 --> 01:11:18,360
where's he gonna go from here?

2346
01:11:18,360 --> 01:11:20,360
the rain is just fucking hammering

2347
01:11:20,360 --> 01:11:21,360
that's his van that's his truck

2348
01:11:21,360 --> 01:11:22,360
where's he gonna go from here?

2349
01:11:22,360 --> 01:11:24,360
where's he gonna go from here?

2350
01:11:24,360 --> 01:11:25,360
where's he gonna go from here?

2351
01:11:25,360 --> 01:11:26,360
where's he gonna go from here?

2352
01:11:26,360 --> 01:11:27,360
where's he gonna go from here?

2353
01:11:27,360 --> 01:11:28,360
where's he gonna go from here?

2354
01:11:28,360 --> 01:11:29,360
where's he gonna go from here?

2355
01:11:29,360 --> 01:11:30,360
where's he gonna go from here?

2356
01:11:30,360 --> 01:11:31,360
where's he gonna go from here?

2357
01:11:31,360 --> 01:11:32,360
where's he gonna go from here?

2358
01:11:32,360 --> 01:11:33,360
where's he gonna go from here?

2359
01:11:33,360 --> 01:11:34,360
where's he gonna go from here?

2360
01:11:34,360 --> 01:11:35,360
where's he gonna go from here?

2361
01:11:35,360 --> 01:11:36,360
where's he gonna go from here?

2362
01:11:36,360 --> 01:11:37,360
where's he gonna go from here?

2363
01:11:37,360 --> 01:11:38,360
where's he gonna go from here?

2364
01:11:38,360 --> 01:11:39,360
where's he gonna go from here?

2365
01:11:39,360 --> 01:11:40,360
where's he gonna go from here?

2366
01:11:40,360 --> 01:11:41,360
where's he gonna go from here?

2367
01:11:41,360 --> 01:11:42,360
where's he gonna go from here?

2368
01:11:42,360 --> 01:11:43,360
where's he gonna go from here?

2369
01:11:43,360 --> 01:11:45,360
where's he gonna go from here?

2370
01:11:45,360 --> 01:11:46,360
where's he gonna go from here?

2371
01:11:46,360 --> 01:11:47,360
where's he gonna go from here?

2372
01:11:47,360 --> 01:11:48,360
where's he going?

2373
01:11:48,360 --> 01:11:49,360
where's he going?

2374
01:11:49,360 --> 01:11:51,010
it's just rain, rain in the

2375
01:11:51,010 --> 01:11:51,360
fields

2376
01:11:56,360 --> 01:11:57,360
off to heaven

2377
01:11:57,360 --> 01:11:59,360
off to heaven with ya

2378
01:11:59,360 --> 01:12:00,360
look at him

2379
01:12:00,360 --> 01:12:01,360
your man

2380
01:12:03,360 --> 01:12:04,360
he's just gonna go around

2381
01:12:04,360 --> 01:12:05,360
he's realised

2382
01:12:05,360 --> 01:12:06,360
he's already played this game

2383
01:12:06,360 --> 01:12:08,360
this is his second rodeo

2384
01:12:08,360 --> 01:12:09,850
so he's just gonna go around

2385
01:12:09,850 --> 01:12:10,360
this van

2386
01:12:10,360 --> 01:12:11,360
and stay there

2387
01:12:11,360 --> 01:12:12,810
cause he can't fucking walk off

2388
01:12:12,810 --> 01:12:13,360
down there

2389
01:12:13,360 --> 01:12:15,360
and that's probably more

2390
01:12:15,360 --> 01:12:17,360
cook report goons

2391
01:12:17,360 --> 01:12:18,360
at the end

2392
01:12:18,360 --> 01:12:20,360
fucking nightmare scenario

2393
01:12:21,360 --> 01:12:22,360
and you can't run

2394
01:12:22,360 --> 01:12:23,360
the thing is

2395
01:12:23,360 --> 01:12:24,360
they can't run

2396
01:12:24,360 --> 01:12:25,730
because they know that would

2397
01:12:25,730 --> 01:12:26,360
make it look even worse

2398
01:12:26,360 --> 01:12:27,860
so they're just gonna have to

2399
01:12:27,860 --> 01:12:28,360
saunter

2400
01:12:28,360 --> 01:12:30,360
in the hammering rain

2401
01:12:31,360 --> 01:12:32,360
good luck right there

2402
01:12:32,360 --> 01:12:34,360
may have many good days

2403
01:12:38,360 --> 01:12:39,360
hey David

2404
01:12:39,360 --> 01:12:40,360
good luck

2405
01:12:40,360 --> 01:12:41,730
but luck for the sodden

2406
01:12:41,730 --> 01:12:43,360
Campbells has just run out

2407
01:12:43,360 --> 01:12:49,430
19 bongo mcsween thank you very

2408
01:12:49,430 --> 01:12:51,570
much who says with nail and i

2409
01:12:51,570 --> 01:12:54,210
the director's cut extended

2410
01:12:54,210 --> 01:12:55,040
version

2411
01:12:56,640 --> 01:12:58,720
there we have hey david good

2412
01:12:58,720 --> 01:13:01,480
luck but luck for the sodden

2413
01:13:01,480 --> 01:13:04,400
campbells has just run out

2414
01:13:04,400 --> 01:13:06,150
our dossier on the counterfeit

2415
01:13:06,150 --> 01:13:07,740
con men is on its way we've got

2416
01:13:07,740 --> 01:13:09,280
a doss we've got a dossier

2417
01:13:09,280 --> 01:13:15,190
you'll go to heaven won't you

2418
01:13:15,190 --> 01:13:21,830
no i won't go to heaven but you'll

2419
01:13:21,830 --> 01:13:27,120
probably go the other way

2420
01:13:27,120 --> 01:13:29,320
they had to put it back in

2421
01:13:29,320 --> 01:13:29,920
again

2422
01:13:29,920 --> 01:13:33,720
what a fucking outro that is

2423
01:13:33,720 --> 01:13:37,430
you make sure you're on no i

2424
01:13:37,430 --> 01:13:41,440
won't go to heaven but you'll

2425
01:13:41,440 --> 01:13:41,760
probably go

2426
01:13:41,760 --> 01:13:43,830
the other way you're going to

2427
01:13:43,830 --> 01:13:46,350
heaven anyway you make sure you're

2428
01:13:46,350 --> 01:13:48,510
on thanks very much it's it's

2429
01:13:48,510 --> 01:13:48,800
only

2430
01:13:48,800 --> 01:13:50,760
been a quick it's been a quick

2431
01:13:50,760 --> 01:13:52,720
blast a cook blast as i call it

2432
01:13:52,720 --> 01:13:54,850
i can't stick around but thank

2433
01:13:54,850 --> 01:13:55,360
you very

2434
01:13:55,360 --> 01:13:56,910
much for joining me on this

2435
01:13:56,910 --> 01:13:58,610
cook blast hopefully more of

2436
01:13:58,610 --> 01:14:00,240
this there's there's a load

2437
01:14:00,240 --> 01:14:01,360
more of them to come

2438
01:14:06,000 --> 01:14:04,280
good night you'll go to heaven

2439
01:14:04,280 --> 01:14:06,590
won't you no i won't go to

2440
01:14:06,590 --> 01:14:09,500
heaven but you'll probably go

2441
01:14:09,500 --> 01:14:10,320
the other way

2442
01:14:11,920 --> 01:14:12,720
we'll talk to you later on and

2443
01:14:12,720 --> 01:14:14,800
good night and remember

2444
01:14:14,800 --> 01:14:20,070
remember you'll go to heaven

2445
01:14:20,070 --> 01:14:21,760
you'll go to heaven

2446
01:14:21,760 --> 01:14:23,440
heaven anyway won't you we'll

2447
01:14:23,440 --> 01:14:25,020
see you later thank you very

2448
01:14:25,020 --> 01:14:26,730
much brap zanagan thank you

2449
01:14:26,730 --> 01:14:27,600
very much there

2450
01:14:28,800 --> 01:14:29,980
bags of trouble what's this

2451
01:14:29,980 --> 01:14:34,820
black bag sales and mock auctions

2452
01:14:34,820 --> 01:14:37,280
oh don't tempt me

2453
01:14:39,760 --> 01:14:40,010
we'll see this is on the back

2454
01:14:40,010 --> 01:14:43,980
burner for next time if it even

2455
01:14:43,980 --> 01:14:47,120
loads up maybe that's a sign

2456
01:14:47,120 --> 01:14:49,680
men with

2457
01:14:49,680 --> 01:14:52,790
their false promises on the

2458
01:14:52,790 --> 01:14:54,160
cook report

2459
01:14:56,720 --> 01:14:56,760
yeah we'll keep that one the

2460
01:14:56,760 --> 01:14:59,260
next one we'll do is bags of

2461
01:14:59,260 --> 01:15:02,130
trouble black bag sales looks

2462
01:15:02,130 --> 01:15:03,200
like it's going

2463
01:15:03,200 --> 01:15:05,460
a cracker you'll go to heaven

2464
01:15:05,460 --> 01:15:07,910
anyway it's the way i tell them

2465
01:15:07,910 --> 01:15:10,230
i'll see you later good luck i

2466
01:15:10,230 --> 01:15:11,200
thank you

2467
01:15:11,200 --> 01:15:12,570
very much there brap and bongo

2468
01:15:12,570 --> 01:15:13,860
and everybody else thank you

2469
01:15:13,860 --> 01:15:15,040
very much bye bye bye bye bye

2470
01:15:17,040 --> 01:15:16,930
otherwise you wouldn't come in

2471
01:15:16,930 --> 01:15:18,520
the shop in the first place

2472
01:15:18,520 --> 01:15:20,330
because only schmocks come in

2473
01:15:20,330 --> 01:15:22,160
here the worthless

2474
01:15:22,160 --> 01:15:24,420
promises of well-heeled con men

2475
01:15:24,420 --> 01:15:26,510
it looks good i don't want your

2476
01:15:26,510 --> 01:15:28,840
money and the sinister signs of

2477
01:15:28,840 --> 01:15:29,360
organized

2478
01:15:29,360 --> 01:15:32,160
crime behind seemingly innocent

2479
01:15:32,160 --> 01:15:34,560
shop fronts yes it looks good

2480
01:15:34,560 --> 01:15:36,960
welcome to the world of black

2481
01:15:36,960 --> 01:15:37,840
bag sales

2482
01:15:37,840 --> 01:15:41,280
and mock auctions good night

2483
01:15:41,280 --> 01:15:55,240
thank you power strike for the

2484
01:15:55,240 --> 01:16:05,840
tip thank you very much

2485
01:16:05,840 --> 01:16:20,220
me. My little bridge is so hot,

2486
01:16:20,220 --> 01:16:20,560
I can't get over it. It's so

2487
01:16:20,560 --> 01:16:20,980
wide, I can't get around it, no,

2488
01:16:20,980 --> 01:16:21,350
no where to hide, no where to

2489
01:16:21,350 --> 01:16:23,230
hide from you, babe. Just can't

2490
01:16:23,230 --> 01:16:27,040
get away from you, babe. No

2491
01:16:27,040 --> 01:16:30,740
matter how to hide. I know you're

2492
01:16:30,740 --> 01:16:34,700
no good for me, but three of

2493
01:16:34,700 --> 01:16:35,820
you are

2494
01:16:35,820 --> 01:16:39,900
never be me. No where to hide,

2495
01:16:39,900 --> 01:16:43,680
no where to hide. No where to

2496
01:16:43,680 --> 01:16:47,160
hide, no where to hide, no

2497
01:16:47,160 --> 01:16:51,950
where to hide. 90 degrees. Turn

2498
01:16:51,950 --> 01:16:56,200
90 degrees to the left, please.

2499
01:16:56,200 --> 01:16:58,220
Thanks.
